{"id":17943,"date":"2024-04-09T19:28:23","date_gmt":"2024-04-09T19:28:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/?p=17943"},"modified":"2026-02-21T00:40:49","modified_gmt":"2026-02-21T00:40:49","slug":"a-glimpse-in-the-rearview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/2024\/04\/09\/a-glimpse-in-the-rearview\/","title":{"rendered":"A glimpse in the rearview"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/image-7.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-17947\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">FB Memories &#8211; an unexpected prompt &#8211; Reflection<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9d6595d7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/video.php?height=314&#038;href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fmarryinaweek%2Fvideos%2F259853194157492%2F&#038;show_text=false&#038;width=560&#038;t=0\" width=\"560\" height=\"314\" style=\"border:none;overflow:hidden\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; picture-in-picture; web-share\" allowFullScreen=\"true\"><\/iframe>\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<p class=\"\">I had totally forgotten about this video. But the glimpse in the rear view here: This is still a very interesting and often overlooked thing. Too often when validation and security aka listening are sought &#8211; we move too quickly. As a parent of Pathological Demand Avoidance kiddos, I&#8217;ve painstakingly learned that listening and observing leads to opportunities to validate, then receive context. Once consent is obtained, then we can establish a path to address and solve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\"><blockquote><p>Unrealistic expectations are just future resentments.<\/p><cite>unsure &#8211; but I first heard from Robbie Bruce &#8211; C26 Founder<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">It is my observation that too often, folks seek to convince instead of preserving another&#8217;s autonomy by assessing or providing solutions or opinions, or insight, or advice before validation and opportunity for the expression of another&#8217;s precious autonomy.  There is great perspective to be gleaned in this video &#8211; and yes, the nail was the problem, but it was the wrong primary point of focus &#8211; and that is the difficult lesson to learn &#8211; even if it is a small difference, allowing for another to preserve the integrity of their choice (free will, agency autonomy are synonyms here) &#8211; allowing for that to occur is a difficult dance and requires practice, failure and lessons learned to improve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Looking back at this, as a rear view mirror moment, is humbling to see the distance I have come from being the &#8216;solver&#8217;.  I am grateful to my wife, Liz, for being patient enough for me to catch up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Mind and head space moments <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Reflections from this week<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">\u201cThe soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">\u2015 Marcus Aurelius, Meditations<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">This thought hit hard the other night as I was riding on a virtual route through Taiwan (Rouvy using my Wahoo Kickr Core). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9d6595d7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-vertically-aligned-stretch is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<iframe src='https:\/\/connect.garmin.com\/modern\/activity\/embed\/14725401739' title='ROUVY - Anping to Qigu | Taiwan' width='465' height='500' frameborder='0'><\/iframe>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Today in an echo chamber in my professional interactions &#8211; &#8220;I prefer a hammer&#8221; <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" height=\"16\" width=\"16\" src=\"https:\/\/static.xx.fbcdn.net\/images\/emoji.php\/v9\/teb\/2\/16\/1f642.png\" alt=\"?\">. I keep reminding folks that perception is not necessarily representative of the fact or event &#8211; but that takes effort &#8211; and I keep encountering these two thoughts as I try to unpack things and find ways forward &#8211; if possible or worth the efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">\u201cThere is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.&#8221; Ryan Holiday<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">\u201cIt is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">\u2015 Epictetus<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Thoughts from the windscreen <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" height=\"16\" width=\"16\" alt=\"?\" src=\"https:\/\/static.xx.fbcdn.net\/images\/emoji.php\/v9\/teb\/2\/16\/1f642.png\">. One breath, One step, on interaction, one day at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">&#8220;Even the largest of waterfalls begin with just one drop. And look what comes of that!&#8221; &#8212; Power of One quote &#8211; I believe this was Peekay to the professor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio wp-block-embed aligncenter is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"The Power of One - Montage\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/jA-90-TOadg?feature=oembed\" style=\"border: none\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9d6595d7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A poignant reflection from HR &#8211;<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-columns is-layout-flex wp-container-core-columns-is-layout-9d6595d7 wp-block-columns-is-layout-flex\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-pullquote\"><blockquote><p>\u201cPeople are getting a little desperate,\u201d he wrote as unemployment spiked and markets crashed. \u201cPeople might not show their best elements to you. You must never lower yourself to being a person you don\u2019t like. There is no better time than now to have a moral and civic backbone. To have a moral and civic true north. This is a tremendous opportunity for you, a young person, to be heroic.\u201d<\/p><cite>Henry Rollins<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-column is-layout-flow wp-block-column-is-layout-flow\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/image-5-1016x1024.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-17945\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Triathlon and my journey of reasonable self scrutiny<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">While I tend to highlight my triathlon efforts in this blog as a journal and non pay walled to me reflection of my ebbs and flows.  I also have many memories and reasons not to forget how triathlon and my overall journey and relationship through sports has rendered me in this pursuit &#8211; which is arguably and indeed is:<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/10\/image.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-17252\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"\">So this is my reminder to remember that I am part of the process and while I am often found doing this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-tiktok wp-block-embed-tiktok\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@creatingwonders\/video\/7351559515659160875\" data-video-id=\"7351559515659160875\" data-embed-from=\"oembed\" style=\"max-width:605px; min-width:325px;\"> <section> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"@creatingwonders\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@creatingwonders?refer=embed\">@creatingwonders<\/a> <p>Daily Reminder <\/p> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"\u266c original sound - Creating Wonders\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/original-sound-7351559625243904811?refer=embed\">\u266c original sound &#8211; Creating Wonders<\/a> <\/section> <\/blockquote> <script async src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">One last reminder to self<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">A quote by Ryan Holiday from his book &#8220;The Obstacle is the Way&#8221; &#8212;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">\u201cStop looking for an epiphany, and start looking for weak points. Stop looking for angels, and start looking for angles.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">One of my fave things about stoicism is its intersections with my other affinities in life. From my journey of reasonable self scrutiny, to things I glean from my faith-based adventures\/journey to evidence based interactions and lessons learned from hypotheses that often guide my <a><\/a>execution preferences (choices) in life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Joy, awe, wonder, happiness &#8211; often come by the mundane, through the small and often overlooked boring things. What was once a weakness, may still be one or has subsided and at times has become a strength. Mortals are the angels! We mere mortals are left to learn or not, and actions lend lessons learned or aspirations that lead to joy, awe, wonder and happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">I am not necessarily lost, rather I am in awe while I wander often in wonder &#8211; my kiddos have provided me the most chaotic yet fulfilling environment to fail\/succeed more often interacting with joy and at times offered the succinct privilege of being reminded of what the absence of joy feels like. But I try not to stay there too long as actions tend to lead me to something much more satiable. Being cheerful is a choice, and I am understanding more and more about this quote by Wade Davis &#8211;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">\u201cPessimism is an indulgence, despair an insult to the imagination. There are wonderfully positive things out there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">Even in times like today where we are often inculcated with curated and altered truths, there is a lot to be grateful for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">\u201cNot to feel exasperated, or defeated, or despondent because your days aren\u2019t packed with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to celebrate behaving like a human\u2013however imperfectly\u2013and fully embrace the pursuit that you\u2019ve embarked on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"\">\u2014 Marcus Aurelius<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is still a very interesting and often overlooked thing. Too often when validation and security aka listening are sought &#8211; we move too quickly. As a parent of Pathological Demand Avoidance kiddos, I&#8217;ve painstakingly learned that listening and observing leads to opportunities to validate, then receive context. Once consent is obtained, then we can establish a path to address and solve.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":19264,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"nf_dc_page":"","_eb_attr":"","pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","rs_blank_template":"","rs_page_bg_color":"","slide_template_v7":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[444,459,817],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17943","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal","category-2024-check-ins","category-prnci"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17943","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17943"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17943\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24195,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17943\/revisions\/24195"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/19264"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17943"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17943"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17943"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}