{"id":23334,"date":"2025-10-21T21:39:29","date_gmt":"2025-10-21T21:39:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/?p=23334"},"modified":"2026-02-21T00:25:27","modified_gmt":"2026-02-21T00:25:27","slug":"2025-hhaewohu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/2025\/10\/21\/2025-hhaewohu\/","title":{"rendered":"Hindsight has an effective way of humbling us"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"23334\" class=\"elementor elementor-23334\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-dad0280 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"dad0280\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-799bc58 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"799bc58\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<iframe src=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fzentriathlete%2Fposts%2Fpfbid02kybebnUu76r2D2kWQSUajZzaafURosxoTo2mBY8fm9AbynCP5WFxhPEehmgkSBFWl&show_text=true&width=500\" width=\"500\" height=\"754\" style=\"border:none;overflow:hidden\" scrolling=\"no\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" allow=\"autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; picture-in-picture; web-share\"><\/iframe>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-975d2e6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-thim-heading\" data-id=\"975d2e6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"thim-heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"sc_heading   \"><h3 class=\"title\">The above FB memory and the thoughts it prompted<\/h3><span class=\"line\"><\/span><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ff9715b e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"ff9715b\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-eff06f2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"eff06f2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">There I was\u2014awkwardly nonchalant in front of the MDot sculpture before my <a href=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/2022\/11\/01\/zentriathlete-blog\/vlog-podcast\/shane-livingston-you-are-an-ironman\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Sacramento Ironman in 2022<\/a>. After a long stretch of cancellations and transfers thanks to the realities of COVID, I finally landed on what I often call my hometown turf. The training was complete, the hay was in the barn, and yet I was flooded with surreal \u201cAm I really here?\u201d moments. A few tires had popped during the trip across the desert from Utah to California (and yes i deflated tubes to about half pressure), and I was quietly wrestling with the fresh grief of losing a best friend to the painful truths of mental health and suicide.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">It was a collision of readiness and vulnerability\u2014standing at the edge of something monumental while carrying the weight of something deeply personal.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-49dc297 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"49dc297\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8c7f39b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"8c7f39b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The efforts that form my baseline often feel so routine to me, yet I still perceive them through a lens of insufficiency. I rarely compare myself to others\u2014but in moments of weakness when I do, I struggle to grasp how my pursuits and priorities, which feel deeply personal and unique, stand apart from those navigating their own worldviews, journeys, and autonomies.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I don\u2019t easily surrender my free will to systems\u2014especially those designed to streamline thought and decision-making. Many of these systems, shaped by tools like social media, subtly replace our inner deliberations with shortcuts: speed, convenience, comfort, and the illusion of reduced pain. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.penguinrandomhouse.com\/books\/735252\/the-score-by-c-thi-nguyen\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Philosopher C. Thi Nguyen<\/a> offers powerful insights into this modern dynamic of exchanging our moralities by these subtle tools known as gamification and too often in the cultural dogmatics and culture of religious indoctrinations.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Instead I have paired many traits of stoicism to be more actionable! When I swim, bike or run &#8211; I actively engage with the cardinal virtues\u2014courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice, I use this as a way to process the absurdities of life and most importantly the asylum between my ears. This practice isn\u2019t just physical\u2014it\u2019s moral and intentional. It helps me shape and align my internal worldview, guiding how I show up for my family\u2014my wife and kids\u2014not just to live, but to seek joy and truly sit with it when it arrives through purposeful action. It&#8217;s become a deep process of remember, renew, and recalibrate. I repeat as often as required especially when current intersections with joy is\/are not enough!<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Each day, it feels harder to be kind. Harder to find examples of people thinking slowly and deliberately\u2014not just with conviction, but with empathy, care, and compassion. We need more leaders who act from thoughtful intention, not just echoing \u201cbecause I said so.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8403551 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"8403551\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9ca04fb elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"9ca04fb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"640\" height=\"638\" src=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-lacy-anderson-share.webp\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-23341\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-lacy-anderson-share.webp 750w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-lacy-anderson-share-300x300.webp 300w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-lacy-anderson-share-150x150.webp 150w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-lacy-anderson-share-60x60.webp 60w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-lacy-anderson-share-550x549.webp 550w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-lacy-anderson-share-100x100.webp 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fc77b69 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"fc77b69\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-013fd18 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"013fd18\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I\u2019m often humbled when I slow down enough to sit with my thoughts\u2014and face the insecurities that live quietly beneath them. In the moment, I rarely see myself doing things classified as EPIC. But looking back on this one, I realize I was practicing something powerful: the art of doing small things in a great way. I tend to follow the concept that EPIC is a demonstration of many small things done with discipline, precision, refinements and lots of effort.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">For this event, I had planned to finish around 12 hours. Life, as it often does, had other plans. The day threw curveballs\u2014things beyond my control. But because I\u2019d been consistent in the small things, I didn\u2019t stumble. I didn\u2019t fall. I persevered. I finished.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">And somewhere along the way, it stopped being about time. It became about digging into a well far deeper than I thought I had. It was for Steve. It was for the love and support I\u2019ve shared with my wife. It was for my family. It was for returning home and giving a cheeky middle finger to the place that shaped me\u2014like best friends do, the way Clooney and Pitt do in those movies. It was for me.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">And it all shifted when Liz helped me grasp a simple but transformative truth: \u201cBe teachable\u2014you\u2019re not always right.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">This post isn\u2019t meant to be grand. My hope is that it reaches a few people in my circle and nudges something inside them. Because the absurdity of our current world\u2014this shallow noise of red vs. blue, greed, privilege, and performative outrage\u2014isn\u2019t solved by clinging to old data points or tribal certainty.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">What Ironman related triatholns continues to teach me is this: I can change. I can recalibrate. I can take small, actionable steps. I can\u2019t be epic every day\u2014but I can do small things well. And that starts with me.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">It\u2019s a hard journey. A deep one. It demands honest self-scrutiny. I\u2019m grateful for Liz\u2019s patience. For friends\u2014like Big Steve, even from the other side\u2014who keep nudging me forward, reminding me I can. Nay, I must!<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">If you\u2019ve read this far, thank you. I know I can\u2019t change you. But maybe I can inspire, support, or model a better way\u2014one that you shape for yourself. Expecting you to bring your own magic to improve upon things gleaned from me and others, and most importantly &#8211; you!<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">As awkward as I felt standing in front of that MDot in Sacramento, I plan to be there again\u2014yes, maybe even in Sacramento. Because for me, it all began with this thought from Ryan Holiday, echoing Marcus Aurelius:<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-32bccba e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"32bccba\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-9344da8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"9344da8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u201cThe impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fe9f8cc e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"fe9f8cc\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-37c5dd8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"37c5dd8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I was the obstacle. I was standing in my own way. So, I began to change.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Am I there yet? No. And maybe I never will be. But I choose to recalibrate\u2014again and again\u2014as often as I must. I lean on this guiding thought from Marcus Aurelius:<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-71951ae e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"71951ae\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3a33acf elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3a33acf\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u201cObjective judgment, now, at this very moment. Unselfish action, now, at this very moment. Willing acceptance\u2014now, at this very moment\u2014of all external events. That\u2019s all you need.\u201d \u2014 Meditations IX.6<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b735a01 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b735a01\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">And I pair it with another truth that continues to shape me:<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4400d78 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4400d78\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u201cNow ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6ad4ad7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6ad4ad7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">These words remind me that transformation doesn\u2019t come in grand gestures\u2014it comes in the quiet, consistent practice of small things done with intention. That\u2019s where the real work lives. That\u2019s where I live now.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4e04ee2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4e04ee2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I\u2019ve come to realize that I can be the small and simple thing\u2014and that\u2019s where I choose to focus. My hope is that, in doing so, others might be inspired to do the same. Along this path, I\u2019ve found a few kindred spirits, though many still seem tethered to systems that shape their beliefs more than they realize.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">It\u2019s just an observation, but I\u2019ve noticed how often people\u2014especially those who claim Christianity\u2014lean on the idea of \u201cJesus taking the wheel,\u201d without fully embracing the gift of free will. True grace, I believe, isn\u2019t about surrendering responsibility or accountability; it\u2019s more about owning our imperfections and choosing to receive the grace that\u2019s offered through conscious, intentional living and recalibrations &#8211; often incremental and helpful scars serve to represent the wisdom and lessons learned through our failures, frustrations and attempts and re-attempts.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-8dc6601 elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"8dc6601\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote class=\"tiktok-embed\" cite=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@vidurabandararajapaksa\/video\/7161385763043626246\" data-video-id=\"7161385763043626246\" style=\"max-width: 605px;min-width: 325px;\" > <section> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"@vidurabandararajapaksa\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@vidurabandararajapaksa?refer=embed\">@vidurabandararajapaksa<\/a> \u2026historically accurate jesus\u2026 \u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014\u2014 Links to the full comedy special available at monsoonseason.show or vidurabr.com <a title=\"standup\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/standup?refer=embed\">#standup<\/a> <a title=\"standupcomedy\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/standupcomedy?refer=embed\">#standupcomedy<\/a> <a title=\"comedy\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/comedy?refer=embed\">#comedy<\/a> <a title=\"srilankan\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/srilankan?refer=embed\">#srilankan<\/a> <a title=\"jesus\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/tag\/jesus?refer=embed\">#jesus<\/a> <a target=\"_blank\" title=\"\u266c original sound - Vidura Bandara Rajapaksa\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/music\/original-sound-7161385815171074821?refer=embed\">\u266c original sound - Vidura Bandara Rajapaksa<\/a> <\/section> <\/blockquote> <script async src=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f3ac889 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"f3ac889\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b3f84b8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b3f84b8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I also hold close this guiding principle: \u201cRather than endlessly debating which worldview is superior, consider drawing wisdom from multiple traditions. Use these insights to shape your own philosophy and personal practice\u2014then let your actions show that collaboration and diversity of thought are more powerful than any single perspective.\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">This is the path I\u2019m walking\u2014one of small, intentional steps, shaped by humility, curiosity, and a deep desire to live authentically. My journey of reasonable self scrutiny!<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Honestly, I\u2019m not sure. The system that shaped me isn\u2019t the one I\u2019m chasing anymore. It promised direction, but it didn\u2019t deliver meaning. It offered a framework or a platform is maybe the better description to forge and discover or better yet remember where and what I came from.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6c01da7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"6c01da7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u201cRather than endlessly debating which worldview is superior, consider drawing wisdom from multiple traditions. Use these insights to shape your own philosophy and personal practice\u2014then let your actions show that collaboration and diversity of thought are more powerful than any single perspective.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote><p style=\"text-align: right;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">&#8212; my personally crafted quote from a Ryan Holiday share<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ca7a457 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"ca7a457\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><strong>A postscript I felt compelled to add:<\/strong> <\/span><\/p><p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Lately, I\u2019ve been learning to recognize the subtle cues in spaces I enter\u2014trying to discern whether I\u2019m truly welcomed, if I belong, or if it\u2019s time to quietly step away. I often think of it like attending a buffet. I scan the offerings, build a plate that suits me, and when my wife and kids are with me, I first help my children. Next I tend to wait patiently for my life partner. Then, if what\u2019s best for me is still available, I go for it. If not, I adapt.<\/span><\/p><p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I apply this same approach to every circle I engage with &#8211; in each scaled space I participate in. What I\u2019m working on now is recognizing when there\u2019s nothing nourishing for me at the table. In those moments, I\u2019m learning to abstain or walk away. That\u2019s been a hard shift. But increasingly, I see the value in it\u2014for my own peace, safety, and the well-being of my family.<br \/><\/span><\/p><p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I\u2019m reminded of a moment in my professional life when I made a different choice. While my colleagues gravitated toward post-work outings\u2014restaurants, bars, social spaces\u2014I opted to run in Central Park. I was deep in triathlon training, and those environments didn\u2019t align with my goals or values at the time. Their mixed reactions weren\u2019t mine to carry; that was their discomfort, not mine.<\/span><\/p><p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Since transitioning to a fully remote lifestyle with limited travel, I\u2019ve lost touch with that instinct\u2014the one that helped me prioritize what truly nourished me. That\u2019s part of why I blog and journal: to reconnect with those internal cues, to revisit the wisdom earned through past frustrations and missteps.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-e24894a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"e24894a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">This is the path I\u2019m walking\u2014one of small, intentional steps, shaped by humility, curiosity, and a deep desire to live authentically. My journey of reasonable self scrutiny!<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Honestly, I\u2019m not sure. The system that shaped me isn\u2019t the one I\u2019m chasing anymore. It promised direction, but it didn\u2019t deliver meaning. It offered a framework or a platform is maybe the better description to forge and discover or better yet remember where and what I came from.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-029eb17 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"029eb17\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">And while I\u2019m here, I can\u2019t help but notice something ironic. People observe me\u2014most often silently, with subtle nonverbal cues\u2014and I can almost hear the question behind their eyes: Why do you care so much?<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Honestly, I\u2019m not sure. The system that shaped me isn\u2019t the one I\u2019m chasing anymore. It promised direction, but it didn\u2019t deliver meaning. It offered a framework or a platform is maybe the better description to forge and discover or better yet remember where and what I came from.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d7ca19e elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"d7ca19e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"640\" height=\"693\" src=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-memento-mori-thought-946x1024.webp\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-23342\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-memento-mori-thought-946x1024.webp 946w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-memento-mori-thought-277x300.webp 277w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-memento-mori-thought-768x831.webp 768w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-memento-mori-thought-550x595.webp 550w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-memento-mori-thought-820x888.webp 820w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/FB-memento-mori-thought.webp 1080w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a3f1a03 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"a3f1a03\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I don\u2019t hold onto many absolutes. But I do know this: one day, I\u2019ll die. And when that day comes, my spouse and kids will either grieve me\u2014or they won\u2019t\u2014based on how I made them feel. Based on how I showed up. Based on whether I lived in a way that mattered to them and to others.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">That\u2019s what I care about. That\u2019s what guides me now.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The above FB memory and the thoughts it prompted There I was\u2014awkwardly nonchalant in front of the MDot sculpture before my Sacramento Ironman in 2022. After a long stretch of cancellations and transfers thanks to the realities of COVID, I [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":20511,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"nf_dc_page":"","_eb_attr":"","pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","rs_blank_template":"","rs_page_bg_color":"","slide_template_v7":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[674,817],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-23334","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2025-check-ins","category-prnci"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23334","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23334"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23334\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24147,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23334\/revisions\/24147"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20511"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23334"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23334"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23334"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}