{"id":24034,"date":"2026-02-02T17:35:13","date_gmt":"2026-02-02T17:35:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/?p=24034"},"modified":"2026-04-12T20:56:07","modified_gmt":"2026-04-12T20:56:07","slug":"jnnaqppah","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/2026\/02\/02\/jnnaqppah\/","title":{"rendered":"Joy – Not nearly as quid pro quo as Happiness"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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The Paradox of Parenting and the Practice of Joy<\/h2><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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The best part of parenting is watching them grow.<\/span>
The worst part of parenting\u2026 is watching them grow!<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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That paradox sat with me last night as I watched other parents navigate their own challenges\u2014each doing their best, each improvising with whatever wisdom, patience, or sheer hope they had available. Something about witnessing their efforts pulled me into a familiar space of gratitude and reflection.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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That paradox sat with me last night as I watched other parents navigate their own challenges\u2014each doing their best, each improvising with whatever wisdom, patience, or sheer hope they had available. Something about witnessing their efforts pulled me into a familiar space of gratitude and reflection.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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So the other night, instead of offering analysis or solutions, I kept things light. I leaned into the joyful moments rather than the friction points. Parents don\u2019t always need another strategy; sometimes they just need someone to remind them that joy still exists in the chaos.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Learning to Sit in Joy<\/h2><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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One of my internal drivers is quite often gratitude paired with a healthy dose of self-scrutiny. Over time, that combination has led me somewhere unexpected: I\u2019ve learned to sit in Joy\u2014not the transactional pursuit of happy, but the deeper, quieter, more sustaining posture of Joy.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Happy is almost always quid pro quo. It demands conditions. It wants more.<\/span>
Joy, though, is restful.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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It reminds me of the difference between kindness and niceness.\u00a0 Joy and kindness are virtues\u2014they offer rest, gratitude, and reflection.\u00a0 Happiness and niceness often come with scaffolding: performance, compulsories, cultural expectations. They can slip into dogma, into judgment, into systems where the least among us lose while the privileged bask comfortably in the sun, unaware of the cost.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Joy does not demand compulsaries it only requires my presence – my understanding and realization of being and interacting with it – Joy. And in presence, I\u2019m learning, is enough.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Blanket Burritos and Other Small Miracles<\/h2><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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At the end of the day, Joy often shows up in the simplest places.\u00a0 Like blanket burritos\u2014those warm, silly, swaddled moments that make connection effortless and laughter unavoidable.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Parenting is full of paradoxes, but it\u2019s also full of these tiny miracles. And if I\u2019ve learned anything, it\u2019s that Joy lives in the folds and sometimes a bit deeper along the seams of those moments, waiting patiently for us to notice.\u00a0 Other times Joy gobsmacks me in plain and simple circumstance – and it is up to me to be present – and to embrace it and sit with it!<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Kindness is not Empathy<\/h3><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Kindness and Niceness - into the nuance<\/h3><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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A child's observation - sparks of Joy!<\/h2><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Juniper mentioned the other night – dad why do you listen to this song so much?<\/span><\/div><\/div>
https:\/\/youtu.be\/eRVpgI4mJvc<\/a><\/span><\/div><\/div>
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Seek Up!<\/span><\/h3><\/div>
Song by Dave Matthews Band \u2027 1993<\/span><\/div>
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Sometimes I feel like I’m falling<\/span>
Fall back again, fall back again<\/span>
Fall back again, fall back again<\/span><\/div>
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Oh, life it seems a struggle between<\/span>
What we see and what we do<\/span>
I’m not going to change my ways<\/span>
Just to please you or appease you<\/span>
Look at this crowd, six billion proud<\/span>
Willing to punch it out<\/span>
Right, wrong, weak, strong<\/span>
Ashes to ashes, all fall down<\/span>
Oh, look around about this round<\/span>
About this merry-go-round and around<\/span>
If at all God’s gaze upon us falls<\/span>
It’s with a mischievous grin, look at him<\/span><\/div>
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Forget about the reasons<\/span>
And the treasons we are seeking<\/span>
Forget about the notion that show emotions<\/span>
Can be kept at bay<\/span>
Forget about being guilty<\/span>
‘Cause we are innocent instead<\/span>
And soon we will all find our lives swept away<\/span><\/div>
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Oh, late at night with TV’s hungry child<\/span>
His belly swells<\/span>
Well for the price of a Coke or a smoke<\/span>
I could keep alive those hungry eyes<\/span>
Man, take a look again<\/span>
Take a look again, take a look again<\/span>
And every day things change<\/span>
And every day things stay the same<\/span><\/div>
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Forget about the reasons<\/span>
And the treasons we are seeking<\/span>
Forget about the notion<\/span>
That our emotions can be kept at bay<\/span>
Forget about being guilty, we are innocent instead<\/span>
For soon, we will all find our lives swept away<\/span>
You know how it is<\/span><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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You seek up an emotion<\/span>
And your cup is overflowing<\/span>
You seek up an emotion<\/span>
Sometimes, your well is dry<\/span>
You seek up a big monster<\/span>
For him to fight your wars for you<\/span>
But when he finds his way to you, the devil’s not going<\/span>
Ha, ha, ha, ha<\/span><\/div>
\u00a0<\/div>
Say, oh say<\/span>
Now look at me in my fancy car<\/span>
And my great bank account<\/span>
Oh, how I wish I could take it all down to my grave<\/span>
And you know I’d save and save<\/span>
Man, take a look again<\/span>
Take a look again at all the things I have collected<\/span>
Well, in the end they’ll all pile up so tall to one, big nothing<\/span>
One big nothing at all<\/span><\/div>
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Forget about the reasons<\/span>
And the treasons we are seeking<\/span>
Forget about the notion<\/span>
That our emotion can be kept at bay<\/span>
Forget about being guilty<\/span>
We are innocent instead<\/span>
And soon we will all find our lives swept away<\/span><\/div>
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You seek up an emotion<\/span>
And your cup is overflowing<\/span>
You seek up an emotion<\/span>
Sometimes your well is dry<\/span>
You seek up a big monster<\/span>
For him to fight your wars for you<\/span>
But when he finds his way to you<\/span>
The devil’s not going<\/span>
Ha, ha, ha, ha<\/span><\/div>
\u00a0<\/div>
Fall back again, fall back again<\/span>
Fall back again<\/span>
Ashes to ashes<\/span>
Fall back again<\/span>
Ashes to ashes<\/span>
Dust to dust<\/span>
Stumble, stumble down<\/span>
The bottom of the bottle came too fast<\/span>
Again<\/span><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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I shared with growing Juniper that this song reminds me how a journey of reasonable self scrutiny<\/em> holds a value far deeper than any single epic event. I once heard the phrase, \u201cI am grateful, but not yet satisfied,\u201d and it captures the truth that mortality doesn\u2019t offer a final destination. Effort is required until my last breath, always reaching for those small, steady improvements.<\/span><\/p>

For a moment, she was completely tuned in before her attention shifted again \u2014 and that brief spark of connection was its own quiet joy.<\/span><\/p><\/div><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Paradox of Parenting and the Practice of Joy The best part of parenting is watching them grow.The worst part of parenting\u2026 is watching them grow! That paradox sat with me last night as I watched other parents navigate their […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":23925,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"nf_dc_page":"","_eb_attr":"","pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","rs_blank_template":"","rs_page_bg_color":"","slide_template_v7":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[811,817],"tags":[824,825,826,827],"class_list":["post-24034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2026-check-ins","category-prnci","tag-tag-st","tag-tag-agency","tag-tag-discernment","tag-tag-autonomy"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24034","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24034"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24034\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24049,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24034\/revisions\/24049"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23925"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}