{"id":24846,"date":"2026-02-26T21:00:02","date_gmt":"2026-02-26T21:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/?p=24846"},"modified":"2026-04-12T20:56:07","modified_gmt":"2026-04-12T20:56:07","slug":"abbaicttlt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/2026\/02\/26\/abbaicttlt\/","title":{"rendered":"A bender &#8211; boredome and illness comes to thoughts like this"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"24846\" class=\"elementor elementor-24846\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1f01492 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"1f01492\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ba3bf2e elementor-widget elementor-widget-thim-ekits-heading\" data-id=\"ba3bf2e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"thim-ekits-heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"thim-ekits-heading thim-ekit__heading\"><h3 class=\"title\">A rear view mirror moment guding future me - which is me now!<\/h3><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-27df0db elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"27df0db\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"fb-post\" data-href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/zentriathlete\/posts\/pfbid02zSXEkhAACQqHV35C9VkeEHVJUbQYKmBrZYmJXbVyGnaeDxj6BVLvBapBBUtn9hmJl\" data-width=\"500\" data-show-text=\"true\"><blockquote cite=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/zentriathlete\/posts\/10227731540208129\" class=\"fb-xfbml-parse-ignore\"><p>From the great Roman emperor commonly known as the last of the 5 good emperors, Marcus Aurelius.  He journaled and I...<\/p>Posted by <a href=\"#\" role=\"button\">Shane Livingston<\/a> on&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/zentriathlete\/posts\/10227731540208129\">Sunday, February 25, 2024<\/a><\/blockquote><\/div>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-d2ad413 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"d2ad413\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"534\" height=\"655\" src=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Screenshot-2026-02-26-at-1.36.04-PM.webp\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-24850\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Screenshot-2026-02-26-at-1.36.04-PM.webp 534w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Screenshot-2026-02-26-at-1.36.04-PM-245x300.webp 245w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 534px) 100vw, 534px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4df3f5a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"4df3f5a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Some days, no matter how carefully I try to carry things, the only sane move is to channel Elsa and just let it go. Not because it\u2019s easy, but because the alternative is dragging around mental weight that was never mine to hold \u2014 and practicing the discipline of letting go is, in itself, an act of temperance and clarity.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-009ac26 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"009ac26\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Marcus Aurelius had a way of naming this reality long before modern workplaces, algorithms, or \u201cleadership frameworks\u201d existed. His line from Meditations (2.1) has been sitting with me again, grounding me in a rear\u2011view moment that sharpens my present discipline and the refinements it asks of me.<\/span><br \/><br \/><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b5077d6 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b5077d6\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u201cSay to yourself at the start of the day, I shall meet with meddling, ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, and unsociable people. They are subject to all these defects because they have no knowledge of good and bad\u2026 We have come into being to work together, like feet, hands, eyelids, or the two rows of teeth in our upper and lower jaws. To work against one another is therefore contrary to nature; and to be angry with another person and turn away from him is surely to work against him.\u201d<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-f6196af elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"f6196af\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Across years, roles, and seasons, I\u2019ve observed this pattern across contexts. And what becomes clear is that micromanagement, control, and \u201coversight\u201d rarely emerge from kindness or connection. They tend to arise from blind or forced compliance to a system, personal execution preferences often masked as conviction, power, privilege, fear, lack of trust, or a fixation on a target that eclipses the human being standing right in front of them. It often shows up in the language too \u2014 the casual <strong>\u201ctrust me, bro\u201d<\/strong> or <strong>\u201cI gotchu, boo\u201d<\/strong> phrasing that pretends to signal care while actually reinforcing control. It\u2019s a pattern I keep trying to understand \u2014 not just in my own experience, but in the broader way systems shape behavior.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7e1094c elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"7e1094c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"640\" height=\"524\" src=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/tom-scott-future-me.webp\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-24852\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/tom-scott-future-me.webp 640w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/tom-scott-future-me-300x246.webp 300w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/tom-scott-future-me-550x450.webp 550w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c2f8329 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"c2f8329\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I can hit the esteemed metric. I can secure the bonus. I can even move through systems that reward those outcomes while watching the human cost accumulate around me \u2014 often without cause \u2014 and still walk away having learned nothing about what was actually accomplished. I\u2019m observing a new external monster emerge, echoing patterns I once believed were resolved: coherence without discernment, information density without understanding, speed replacing context, and bullet\u2011point summaries masquerading as actual thinking. It\u2019s something I\u2019m actively trying to navigate and understand, not just critique.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-55daefc elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"55daefc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">When speed becomes the virtue, complexity gets flattened. When systems optimize for output, they stop noticing the people inside them. And when I trade understanding for efficiency, I drift into a kind of systemic autopilot \u2014 one that rewards the appearance of clarity while eroding the real thing. I\u2019m seeing that same autopilot in the rush to adopt the densities of AI without the discipline of proper application \u2014 the same way the Mustang\u2019s unibody design looked like progress until real\u2011world stress exposed the misalignment.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-12be63d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"12be63d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Which brings me back to Marcus Aurelius. He wasn\u2019t offering cynicism; he was offering preparation \u2014 premeditatio malorum. A reminder that the world will always contain people acting from their own blind spots, often because they haven\u2019t developed the maturity of wisdom shaped by courage, temperance, and an honest understanding of what justice actually demands. Some haven\u2019t had the failures, the lessons, or the effort that forge discernment. Others are navigating neurotype, trauma, or capability constraints that shape how they move. My task is to stay rooted in what I know to be good, not to be surprised when others don\u2019t, won\u2019t, or sometimes can\u2019t. And to meet those moments with clarity rather than contempt.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-06efeb2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"06efeb2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"640\" height=\"800\" src=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/EE4CF118-03B6-433B-9772-D7AA8576CBB8-819x1024-1.webp\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-20889\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/EE4CF118-03B6-433B-9772-D7AA8576CBB8-819x1024-1.webp 819w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/EE4CF118-03B6-433B-9772-D7AA8576CBB8-819x1024-1-550x688.webp 550w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/EE4CF118-03B6-433B-9772-D7AA8576CBB8-819x1024-1-240x300.webp 240w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/07\/EE4CF118-03B6-433B-9772-D7AA8576CBB8-819x1024-1-768x960.webp 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-15a8b77 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"15a8b77\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Some days, that means letting things go. Not out of apathy, but out of discipline. Out of clarity. Out of the refusal to let someone else\u2019s defects, blind spots, or timelines become mine to carry. And part of that discipline is naming what I will and won\u2019t do: I\u2019m not explaining something \u201clike a five\u2011year\u2011old\u201d because performative niceness demands it. I\u2019m being kind by asserting a boundary \u2014 and I\u2019m willing to wait, patiently, until there\u2019s effort, alignment, and consent for actual coaching or mentoring. Letting go becomes the quiet act of choosing alignment over reaction \u2014 the same disciplined release Marcus was pointing toward, and the only way I know to stay human inside systems that often forget what being human requires.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-ef4ba38 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"ef4ba38\" data-element_type=\"container\" data-e-type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-a841f9f elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"a841f9f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"640\" height=\"790\" src=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Reel-shared-on-Oct-30-2025_qr-830x1024.webp\" class=\"attachment-large size-large wp-image-24851\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Reel-shared-on-Oct-30-2025_qr-830x1024.webp 830w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Reel-shared-on-Oct-30-2025_qr-243x300.webp 243w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Reel-shared-on-Oct-30-2025_qr-768x948.webp 768w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Reel-shared-on-Oct-30-2025_qr-1245x1536.webp 1245w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Reel-shared-on-Oct-30-2025_qr-1660x2048.webp 1660w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Reel-shared-on-Oct-30-2025_qr-550x679.webp 550w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Reel-shared-on-Oct-30-2025_qr-820x1012.webp 820w, https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/Reel-shared-on-Oct-30-2025_qr-scaled-600x741.webp 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A rear view mirror moment guding future me &#8211; which is me now! From the great Roman emperor commonly known as the last of the 5 good emperors, Marcus Aurelius. He journaled and I&#8230; Posted by Shane Livingston on&nbsp;Sunday, February [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":24851,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"nf_dc_page":"","_eb_attr":"","pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","rs_blank_template":"","rs_page_bg_color":"","slide_template_v7":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[811,817],"tags":[824,825,826,827],"class_list":["post-24846","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2026-check-ins","category-prnci","tag-tag-st","tag-tag-agency","tag-tag-discernment","tag-tag-autonomy"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24846","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24846"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24846\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24858,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24846\/revisions\/24858"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/24851"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24846"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24846"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyinthehills.com\/zentriathlete\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24846"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}