Liz and I have been facing one random trial after the next since I made the choice to leave Utah and head to Yale. THat turned out to be the most trying 8 months she, Dennis and I have faced as a little family unit. We have since ventured to Farmville Virginia, no not the virtual little game that is found on facebook…Since coming here, we located a little place that seemed good on paper. We have been paying 825 a month for a home that is turning into a nightmare. The landlords are nice enough, but man, one thing after the next. It wasn’t like we had a lot of choices when we were rapidly trying to discover a place upon my hasty exit from the Yale Law School. Looking back, this isn’t where we imagined we would be.
The highlights…The Farmville Church of JESUS CHRIST of latter Day Saints local branch is the best thing. Although this little place lacks the often taken for granted perks of a larger ward, it has been a welcomed anchor for us as we venture to find our safe haven. I have watched many people through my short/long 35 years of life and make monumental choices. I remember speaking with one Bishop Turner in New Haven and saying the most frustrating thing about free will and the agency to choose according to one’s will is that sometimes we are presented with a choice where it feels that heaven’s hand or direction is absent. What I mean is that in order for us to grow, the providence of our maker pulls His hand back in order to allow us to exercise our judgement. Because of this, it tends to be unnerving because I am torn between trusting that we are trusted to make sound decisions, vs. did I do something wrong and lose divine guidance. It’s not that i don’t understand and know that the former fits our situation, but trial after trial since this choice has been a challenge. Doesn’t mean that I do not face the challenge head on to make the best of it, but I am fatigued and feel that I have brought my family into unchartered territory. Spirituality is an interesting and personal affair. It is filled with up’s and downs, peaks and valleys, periods of normalcy and rife with strife, but in the end I love that I have the freedom to choose as I will and a conscience that tempers my choices.
Hiding behind closed eyes..Dennis 2008
Liz and I are creating our adventure. I am not quite clear on our destination but I know our outcome is decided by her and I. we hope that we make solid choices that offer little Dennis enormous opportunities in his future. we are extremely grateful to all those that have been there to support us during our trials and oft times feelings of being abandoned.
#2009 #Personal
