Cast # 84
I remember some sage advice completely out of triathlon. It was free advice, and I took it. It was shared that I should concentrate on specifically focused weaknesses, in small bits. After improvement and habits are formed, move on. From time to time, loopback and assure the previous weaknesses have not regressed. Weaknesses can be potential strengths, and using a term from a recent podcast – if I ‘surrender’ and if I get out of my own way, strengths can be the outcome. I was reminded of this from cast #84.
I have been playing triathlon-specific isolated focus this year has been swimming. I am nearing 100,000 yards of swimming for the year. Some history and perspective. In March of 2015, I was swimming at 3:10 per 100 yards. I am now able to swim a 1:50 per 100 yds at an easy pace. And I am seeing more gains now that I understand better how to breathe, and catch/and pull is finally clicking. A video below of my weakness from last night.
I am 43 years young and making improvements daily in triathlon, in the family, in balance and life. Thank you for the reminders, to Robbie and Mike at Crushing Iron. You took me back to a decision I made at 18 and another at 39 (this one brought me head-first into reconnecting with sport). This is timely for me as I think I wrote my first Transformation Tuesday post around this time 2 years ago.
I have NOT been perfect. I had a great year in 2016 and this year – 2017 – has been tough with a change in business travel to being home more and trying to focus on family more. When I travel, my after-work go-to is working out because I am not home and I am not going to participate in activities that may lead my family into problems. With child number 3 inbound, Liz has also needed more support as we have a spry 2-year-old and an 11-year-old trying to manage the change in their worlds.
Anyway, this cast is honest, raw and real. I do think the pro-positivity aspect of the world at times overlooks the realities of life being opposites. Good/bad, health/illness, etc. This is part of the growth concept. Most growth incurs damage – muscular, fitness, ground/soil, seeds becoming more. Overlooked is the fact that sometimes life just sucks.
Yes, a glimpse into our family. Life is good. And business travel affords us a good life. But it also is full of challenges. I have missed out on many things with Dennis and my precious wife Liz. She has had many challenges without me right there. It does have the benefit that she and I don’t encounter many challenges couples do in our circles of influence. It requires us to have explicit trust for one another. I’m grateful she has allowed herself to trust in me as I must trust in her. It helps that I love her, and she is one hot momma even when she feels at her worst.
I still recall sitting on the plane. I was numb. I had just spent the better part of a month with Liz and Dennis in Strasbourg, France.
I was nowhere near fit and my health was slipping. Thank heavens she didn’t give up on me. I had that ‘aha’ moment. I knew I needed a reboot. I realized how numb I was and needed to change. I’m grateful to have had the wrong turn on the 50-mile gran-Fondo ride that turned into a century. That left turn invigorated me to know that I could do something beyond me with the correct focus and discipline. I am grateful Liz afforded her patience in that mistake. Anyway, point being – I am often my most limiting critic. I am often the governor that keeps me back.
So to that end. I have been refocusing and reconsidering my discipline. I have been returning to a more disciplined approach to my nutrition. I am removing supplements, and returning tot he acronym JERF (Just Eat Real Food). I am eliminating animal-based milk and being very critical of my meat consumption. In my faith, we practice something called the Word of Wisdom, which is a ‘Law of Health’. It’s quite basic in principle and often misapplied. I have often heard the term or phrase “moderation in all things”. Well, that is not found anywhere in this law of Health rather it is a dogmatic interpretation. On a recent run/outing with a local buddy of mine, I explained to him my why’s of doing what I do as he explicitly and candidly asked me. I didn’t hold back. I wasn’t really talking to him as much as I was reminding myself of my why’s. A lot of folks chase different fads, bio-hacks or shortcuts. In endurance sports, the only short cut is the long cut. The path you are on, enduring to get to the next milestone or breakthrough. It is through perseverance and ‘will’ that gets me there. I can’t tag out and have a substitute do it for me. It’s why I must rest at times to not burn out.
Anyway, the struggles or trials may make us vulnerable in the moments, but afterwards, in retrospect and hindsight, they are often what provides the armour or scar to remember why to persevere and not relent. To not give up. To not give in. To not be overcome. There are times when I can’t do it all and some external motivators and supports are needed. It’s why incremental and reasonable goals are required so I do not create resentment in myself or those close to me supporting, watching, participating through me as their proxy. Personal reflection, meditation and remembrance are often in my mind during the last 4 years or so of this journey. I have reshaped me in some ways, allowing myself to become better engaged with Liz and my family’s needs. It is not to say that I don’t make mistakes or am perfect in execution, last weekend proves how far away I am at times. Rather, I am on a journey focused, mindful, present, aware and available. Quite the opposite compared to many of the years of fertility that I inadvertently let Liz journey through alone. I get that. That is/was my burden to bear. I am grateful for her kindness and patience in me.
Anyway, life is life. it is full of too many unreasonable expectations. There is a lot of noise and other distraction around me and vying for my attention.
As long as I stay centered on what is raw and real – Liz, Dennis, Juniper, the soon to arrive little girl. As long I remain focused on how to support us. As long as I stay true to myself, my family, my faith. As long as I keep my extended family and close friends in mind. As long as I serve those around me and try to encourage them to find their own ‘aha’ moments. It is there, and in this that I will find peace. And heaven willing – happiness and joy!
So, this is truly a personal check-in and glimpse for me. I didn’t delve too deep but, being vulnerable at times is necessary to defend and conquer fear and hate. Something our current world is definitely in desperate need of at this time.
Cheers!
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