Checkin’ IN!!!
SO — I was reading through the last parts of the book by Dr. Craig L. Manning. Admittedly, my fire for reading had burned off a bit so, while on the plane during the IROP, I thought I’d get some reading in. Well, there is a paragraph and thought that caught my attention. Two major phrases stood out to me:
“It is interesting that individuals who don’t beat themselves up tend to regain their confidence more rapidly.’
And
” When our attention is motivated by our egos, we lose focus on what needs to be done from one moment to the next, and good decision making goes out the window.”
I immediately dropped the following notes when I underlined and captured the first:
What is or rather is there a connection between confidence and ‘slumps’ or deficits of motivation? Is it more due to a lack of the ability or interactions of making good and purposeful decisions?
It smacks of Robbie Bruce’s (C26) thoughts of “Unrealistic Expectations are just future resentments”. I mean I really want to break down the first thought. IF it is in the fight or engagement of making steady and consistent decisions with good and purposeful meanings, then the repetition and the ability to continually exercise the mind is even more valuable. The bigger underlying tenet though is what is the threshold to maintain steady growth vs other continuous growth models or outcomes. It falls into the adage of being too busy to provide or allow space for the self-punishment to occur in a level not requisite to the incremental corrections required to increase or modify behavior. Further, once the slippery slope has begun of beating oneself up, then the focus and purpose of being too busy making good decisions slips and allows space for that spiral of bad behavior and thought to overtake the good or neutral.
Once that occurs, then confidences is either grown, strengthened or destroyed. Once confidence is affected and that wanes, we merely allow room for the slump or the deficit of motivation to increase and inhibit/prohibit consistent mindful and purposeful decision making that alters our states of mind. We can become prisoners of the moment as it were, and then sink into the rabbit hole of funk. So, in order to exit this, the change that may need to be introduced is the increase of good decision making opportunities, a growth of confidence and then a continual movement toward being too busy to slump.
The second one is interesting. Because self-confidence and arrogance bleeds into the ego. When the ego distracts us from the focus that is needed, then as the deficits grow, the space then leads further toward less productive opportunities. To this end, the in my own personal situation, in a lot of ways, I removed the decision opportunity of going out to run or be active as it pertains to triathlon. Rather than focusing on the good things of selecting my wife, family and our needs first and getting too busy there, I left enough space for the ‘rut of funk’ to develop in all things of activity.
There is some interesting wisdom here for me to glean. I have always prescribed to the context to respect fear but not blind to it. TO know the limits, to feel the fear and do it anyway. It’s not that fear is a limiter but rather a boundary. I am thinking to certain degrees my context is flawed. Sure, I shouldn’t ignore the fear, but I should challenge it with the correct context. Once I do that, I can then redefine the limits and assert some control over the reasons why I am respecting the fear. I also kind of just let that measurement and respect of fear to stay the same. This is a stale concept because I have changed since I constructed that thought context for me. I do not know where I need to go with this in Life balance and in endurance sports, but I am acknowledging the overall thought construct with a different and with a different perspective and maturity.
I am really seeing that for me, there is a definite connection in my confidence as it correlates to how my level of engagement with endurance sports is. I mean for the first 3/4 years I was on fire. The wrong turn in the gran fondo inspired me to truly do something stupid and ride that first century and doing too much. Luckily I had enough space to recover. Then to do 3 70.3’s the first was miserable as I thought b/c I conquered the gran fondo, even in the 70.3 is a bit oversized, I can just do it and just complete it. And so I did. I finished, not within time but not too far off, with many lessons learned. But after those first years and then when the house sell occurred after the Birth of Juniper and Astrid, it just sucked my soul. The decision of moving and without being compelled or another driver – it just was a woolly mammoth and it just like the gran fondo, wiped me and Liz out mentally.
And so it is, it is good to go back and reflect a bit, so that I can gather where I am at. When I get back I need to get a ride on the trainer in, a swim and perhaps a light run tomorrow. I am unclear what block I am in and I just know that I do not want to lose swim fitness and those gains, but I need to start getting back to normal in running and cycling. See what happens when I land in a shower or in a chair in the air? It is time to solve my world’s problems.
But honestly, after the awfully timed outage at my work engagement this week and observing the frustrations, panic, and misfires of performing in or under high stress, I was able to shake things thru for me a bit personally. I had a great and brief visit with Liz’ parents and was able to catch up with John. Mr. Whitworth and I explored music for Dennis and he prepared and allowed me to bring an Ibanez electric guitar back with me for Dennis. He’s going to be stoked in his own way. Now to find an amplifier set up that will work. It was a good visit although we stayed up later than I liked, but sometimes for family and building good relationships its needed. IN the end, we were able to go through a large and diverse library of metal options for Dennis to try and help him have an outlet of some form beyond trying to destroy us as parents.
Anyway, I’m not sure as these are wandering thoughts and unsure if it is even clear or cohesive in the slightest. I’m on travel disruptions and thought I would write to distract from the issues at hand. I will be home tonight and I will see my family. There was one option that kept me in Michigan over night, but gratefully I made that connection and didn’t have to over night in Detroit. A good day, hopefully I can cap it off with a trainer ride. Will see if my tire is still flat. I am seeing my tires fail at the valve stem, and not sure why, and on the trainer this is a new thing. Normally tubes and tires last me about 2000 miles at a minimum with proper care. Apparently the care is not as proper as I think it should be.
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#photo #Checkin #2019 #Reflections #mv
