Checkin’ IN!!!
So, some context. I belong to many groups in social media circles, but I have been paring back my interactions in a lot of them. I tend to only engage in the ones I find essential. To that end, I would like to compliment the groups founder of Run4Fun. Like me, an imperfect gentleman trying his best to stumble into being his best self and over time, focus, diligence, discipline and determination has yielded great dividends. Although I believe we share a lot of similarities we are quite unique one from the other, and the participants in the group are often similar. From the newbies to the long and overworked (shunning recovery) runners and we have lost a few good ones along the way. This group has been ever valuable in my growth mindset journey, and slapped me a few times when I was that triathlon guy that no one likes, you know Shane the douche-bag. It took me awhile to learn the following:
Grateful, that the patience and tolerance from Dave and his Run4Fun group participants has fostered a lot of opportunities for personal enrichment and growth, and I imagine I am not the only one affected by this group.
Facebook topic – Shin Splints from Shane H
Shane H. and Dave E. – since we went there – yes, ego and over training are the most common. But let me see if I can verbalize my red flags, and I have had stress fracture before in my outside right metatarsal, and arguably in my shins during high school, but I was tough and played through it – I ran miles with my soccer club in 89-92 wearing Adidas samba flats – I was hard core! (i digress, lol).
In 2015 – I bought a pair of Rapa Nui Trail by Hoka One One. I liked them, but I had paired them incorrectly to me. I was coming back to running after an extensive break. Honestly I was FAT for me 240-ish lbs- (accountability mirror anyone?).
I still wear the rapa nui’s in the garden. they are a bit unstable due to the aggressive rocker.
Click Here to read about my 2015 thoughts highlighting the shoe — I blog about it here in my first paragraph.
2 major things of note – looking back — In 2015, I wasn’t as detailed in my journaling of things back then but here are some vague memories – pain tends to help my recall (admittedly they may be a bit skewed given lapse of time).
- I was over trained and didn’t have a good base phase, sure I was hard core and pushing through, but my body was destroyed and wearing the Hoka’s — which may have been a good shoe down the road, were too aggressive and not paired right for where my body was at. It culminated in my knee locking up on the run portion of my half ironman in 2015, and extensive 6 week break and PT. I grabbed the Hoka’s mainly to address the shinsplints and pounding my 240—ish lb body at the time was going through, even though my mind was – harden up and c’mon!
- I recall even though I said in my blog I was pain free – I wasn’t, not in the slightest. I was doing a lot of training late at night in East and West Hartford CT. There, the streets and sidewalks I was running on next to the river and in other beat up parts of town in the immediate suburbs of Hartford, had a steep pitch and aggressive camber and I was running on angles everywhere. I remember feeling 3 – 4 inches off of square and trying to compensate. Unbeknownst to me, I was trying to re-shape my running stride (wearing Hoka’s) and my foot strike impact. At the time, I was a heavy heel-striker and trying to move to my toe or at a minimum my mid to fore-foot. These were all adjustments I was trying to make while my body was shifting and adapting to the ‘change’ of lifestyle I was going through. Like the other Shane, I think my mind was masking the re-flags I should have been paying attention to at the time – but I was clueless, and admittedly still am ?
So, the red flags. I recall having a lot of little niggles, you know those phantom pains (or are they really)? From the back of my calf, sore shin splints and the burning and radiating numb aches in the shin fronts. And then after a rolled ankle, just muscling through. I didn’t stretch or pair in active recovery or bike rides – or swimming. I was tighter than a rubber band ball. I recall the soles of my feet being just fatigued and the radiating warmth above my sock line in my shins. It was different then when I ran in Merrill gloves, and soccer flats, but the annoyance was there. Had I no rolled my ankle, I imaging stress fractures would be next.
So for me, I have learned when my shins are sore, time to investigate first my body tight spots. Address those issues, through recovery, stretching or lastly gear. Look at my shoes and the EVA – even though mileage may be high or low, how is the structure of the shoe. Also, shoe structure for me is critical, the Hoka Rapa Nui trail was a moderate structured shoe, and I have to have a NEUTRAL structure. The little nuance paired with my flat feet create angles and the overall bio-mechanics of my body just go haywire. Looking back, the camber and angle in the streets probably delayed what should have torn me up faster, and I was also riding my bike a lot and that served as active recovery stretching as the bio-mechanics were being awakened – again I knew nothing other than – ‘if it doesn’t hurt I am not improving — NO pain no gain — which is BS – but that’s another topic. Another key indicator for me, is my previous stress fracture. IF it is radiating pain or discomfort, I know something else is off. Its a good gauge for me to know if my builds are correct.
I think the most difficult thing I have learned in preventing injury for me, is allowing enough space for grace. To know that a single data point in a training plan won’t wreck it. I also know that over training manifests in different ways. While I would not want anyone to have injury, it, the injury is a key red flag telling me/us that something is wrong, and I MUST address that. That is why I appreciate that Shane H brought it forward and entertained my banter.
MINDSET and other thoughts spurred by above
I also know that unsolicited advice doesn’t often stick, so I am also grateful for Dave E. pressing a bit to try and tease out some stories here. I only know things from my point of view, I’m not a professional, not a coach, but I do know me. IN fact, with our 4th kidlet almost here, I am tethering the line of how to do things correctly. I am coming back out of a period of concentrating on family first. This focus and hinge-point for our family was quite needed.
After years of infertility, my transformation Tuesday journey and many points along the way including 4 70.3 Ironman’s in 5 years and my wife having 3 children in those five years, I have a lot to be grateful for. I have been relatively injury free – physically. I did have a HUGE mental injury. I toed a cliff of burnout for far too long between my 3rd and 4th 70.3 Ironman, I had to skip the 2018 event and going toward that date, I wanted a change. The change I selected was so wrong, but so many lessons learned. I blog about in a bit in my posts labelled 2017 and 2018. In summary, after almost walking off course in 2017 – I had PR swim and bike – but fumbled nutrition and let that get into my pain space and my mind faltered. So much so, I was in a very dark and gritty space of almost walking off – and I still had nearly 2 hours of time to finish – but that was irrelevant at the time.
Haunting reflections of the 2017 70.3 Ironman
Seared deep in my memory was that moment as I was walking around the round point. I had just stopped and said hello to Liz and Dennis, and I knew something was off, but I sauntered away in about 60 percent run form. As I rounded the round point, some crazy gal – yes you Ms. Jenni Archibald –
– SHANE, Why are you walking! Get it back together and finish!!!
I am positive that my phrasing is waaaaaaaay off, but she freaking scared me to death. I was walking for a moment, battling deep within – but it hadn’t come all the way forward. The haunting questions of, What am I doing? Why am I doing this? What am I trying to prove to anyone beyond me? What I didn’t know at that time is I was learning. I was learning that my lifestyle choices were not only a good pattern, a step in the right vector, but I was actually finding joy in this journey that was far more than just me. Sidebar, I observe a lot of folks in this journey become very selfish or selfless. And to be honest I feel wither is correct in their own ways, as long as it stays contained to that person and their circles of influence. For me, I was still being quite selfish, and I was for me, maturing into selfless. More on that later.
Jenni shook my world. I didn’t know it was her. I was told she was helping at the swim, and that was it, i didn’t think she’d come look for a few of us from the Run4Fun and other groups where we all collide together. This irreverent soul, that befriended my wife years ago during an EPIC relay, pierced my gut. I started moving and made it about a mile. That is where the next battle of climbing into red cliffs parkway and surviving continued. I was not where I needed to be with nutrition, and that definitely derailed everything else. I just endured 20 MPH winds with monster gusts through Snow canyon and down the parkway, white-knuckled into town. But that didn’t matter, I was hungry, I was miserable, I was in an Ironman and hanging on by a thread.
About 2/3’s up the parkway I hear a good friend Chris (Buddha) B. He called out to me. What was said is long forgotten, but he shook me off my cliff. I was about to just walk off, right there. I was ready to just sit down and call in a med vehicle – what was I thinking – like I am that special to get a med or event car to take me in. In that moment, that was like the paddles needed – CLEAR!!!! It was my hey, this isn’t all about you anymore. In the forefront of my mind came Liz, my wife – who puts up with all my shenanigans. The one that begrudgingly, but also grateful that I came out of my ‘numbness to life’ phase. There was my boy, who just gave me a high five and in his own way projects that dad is ok and cool. There is my extended family, who came to this event, and supports our family and stays with us and participates as they can. There are all the other folks, close friends, acquaintances, peers and colleagues. But that surge only carried me for another 3 miles or so.
Then there was Sara G. She pulled me aside the day prior. We had connected loosely in another FB group called Pathetic Triathletes Group. This distilled and seemingly inert connection, totally helped during the event. She was crossing my path a few minutes behind me and catching up. Again what she said is long forgotten, but the multiple check-ins from her initial “go-Shane!!!” helped carry me to the last 5 miles, and the red-bull shots helped too. If it wasn’t for Sara’s simple check ins the next 3-4 miles before the long downhill into the finishers chute, I probably would have encountered the cliff again. I felt so lost. But i hung on, finished with more than 1 hour to complete the course and I went off to lick my wounds and recover.
In that recovery, I had a brilliant idea. I am going to run the Bear 100 (a local 100 mile ultra in my backyard). Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??? Who the crap do I think I am? I just fumbled my nutrition in a 70.3 triathlon, with only 13.1 miles of running, so hey, let’s go do a 100 mile course through the mountains from my town up to Bear Lake — I mean I run a mean Crimson Trail (5 mile-ish route). That’s a brilliant idea. Seriously – Dunning-Kruger would be so proud of my self-centered awareness. NOT!!!! But in my defense, from that event until late November/December – I trained well, I did it right and I was ready for a 50 miler – but we decided to sell our home and move.
And absolutely nothing was wrong, a lot was going right
So why did I go here. This is an example of where I was much more mindful and present in my growth-mindset journey. In the moments, I was blind! I was just on the ledge of a cliff, and instead of jumping there, I went down the next accessible rabbit hole. I found the next dream, not because I was down with Ironman or triathlons, but I needed something ‘new’. Something fresh! Something ridiculously stupid and unintelligent! So, where I landed though was much farther than I could have ever imagined. I was running 2 hours 4-5 times a week. I totally ignored my bike, and swam here and there to stretch and catharsis all of the trash my mind acquired during this time period. Little Astrid joined us in September, and the down time of juniper and Astrid in their sleep cycles allowed me the timing to get in the runs, mainly late at night. I have a hard time doing early mornings but I can do late nights. Well, this post isn’t about that but apparently I needed to got here.
So back to the original thoughts that prompted this post, I almost lost myself. Red flags, journaling the experiences. Looking back for rear view moments from time to time, to remind myself where I have come from and the distance covered is at times needed. But, mind you, I need to do it carefully. Those red flags, aren’t so much a governor – although I often treated it as such, rather they are critical points to say – ok – review, re-calibrate, adapt, adjust, overcome.
And so, here I sit, the last week I have been without energy. I have had a few good runs, an outdoor ride, indoor trainer rides. But I am still fueling and eating like crap – my fault. I think I need to tune in to that if I am going to be successful going into the build up toward September 19. I don’t think the event is going to happen, and I think I just need to mentally accept that and get beyond whether it will or not, and just get to the discipline and diligence of find consistent and boring lifestyle of ironman triathlon training. I miss the pool. This covid disruption of no swimming is the worst part for me. To look back, and see how I treated my first swims – its laughable and terrifyingly scary. I would assert and argue that more than 50% of long distance triathletes do the same thing. So I re-focused and respected the swim and along the way it’s become my sanctuary, my safe space, my place of personal catharsis – I WANT IT BACK!!!! Lol
Anyway, sorry to ramble for me, but I like what Shane H said concisely before I jumped off and wrote this diatribe of sorts – see what not swimming does —
Yeah, I think my EGO is probably the #1 cause of injury. Hopefully I can be back in 30 days & just slowing it down.
I opened my banter with Shane joking about not reading the David Goggins book “You Can’t Hurt Me!” I have really liked this book, and it’s been a good reminder of sorts. So, who knows, serendipity, or I just needed this small reminder. Regardless, I am grateful for the small connections. I ma grateful for the feedback – unsolicited and more importantly the solicited feedback. I am sure along the way, I have offended some, and I have sincerely tried to repair where I can, but also I have had to accept this too:
So hopefully, I can keep an ever present mindfulness. I hope I can be still enough, to let yesterday serve as options for wisdom and allow tomorrow to happen. I can persist in being prepared along the way, learning, adapting, adjusting and overcoming along the way. So um yea. Hoka one one Rapa Nui’s tore up my knee. ? Is that muddy enough?
a look in the rearview mirror – look at that beautiful valley and mountain! What lies ahead?
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Activities –
I use the following trackers:
- Garmin Connect (which pushes the files to the following services):
- Training Peaks
- Strava
- and the ones I don’t remember (Map my stuff via Under Armour and things like the Great Bicycle ride initiative stuff)
Honestly, I mainly use Training Peaks as I pay for an annual subscription on it now, and it is the most detailed in data and other helpful information to keep me where I want to go. Use the ‘Links’, then ‘Track me’ section to find and stalk me if that’s your thing.
Relevant Pics
#2020 #triathlonlifestyle #swimbikerun #trilife #Checkin #roadtoimca2021 #teamzoot #triathlonlife #ironmantraining #familybalancetri #triathlontraining #teamzootmtn #triathlete #triathlonmotivation
