2021 – April 06 – Ego is the enemy

I’ve been reading Ryan Holiday. I know most tend to only see what they want to see but I have enjoyed this author’s works. So far, ‘Obstacle is the way’, ‘stillness is the key’ are read and I am in ‘ego is the enemy’. I normally don’t read so when I do the reads are typically quite compelling to me.

I have observed a lot of contextual and practical examples leading to actionable opportunities for me or reinforcements. Also, I have seen a lot of patterns or concepts I have adopted over the years too (support and sometimes vindication).

It has been a great reminder and personal intersections of all things me. It’s been a great adventure and activity for me, it’s been raw, introspective and allows me opportunity for persistent growth.

Grateful for the patience granted to me by my wife Liz and her allowing me grace to not be perfect, and rather accepting and mindful that I try to act with intention, and accepts me as I am becoming.

Grateful I learned how to learn and how to give myself grace and acceptance and acknowledge how imperfect I am, but be able to foster confidence, and when I got to douche-baggerie, the presence to see it (myself and critical and needed feedback and observation of others, too) and begin change. This journey has aligned with my personal affinity to long course endurance sports – namely triathlon. I live it. It’s hard. It’s unique. It’s compelling and humbling and I learn a lot. Adaptation, growth, grace, stillness, resiliency, kindness, awareness, tolerance. Most importantly I am grateful to be the human being I am becoming and the stillness I am achieving within me and my immediate nuclear family.

So, I have noticed when my activity is stinted due to life and family dynamics – I tend to go to the 4th discipline – that could be headspace, nutrition, sleep. Above flowed out of me as I reflected on the annoying snow that is prohibiting my children from enjoying their Spring break. no, really! They told me so. Snow day – Dad! Cmon. now really?

Well not it isn’t kiddos . It will take them a long while to realize the wisdom in Ryan Holiday’s quote here. In time. In, due time. It’s all good. So I didn’t talk to much about this in social spheres, but last Friday I did get my first round of the Moderna vaccine. What was interesting was the impact it had on my Friday Morning run. I was on my run and just gassed. I remember telling Liz. “I had to mentally accept and tell myself I just don’t have it today and that is ok”. he was like you actually listen to yourself? Love you too babe! It was interesting though. I was telling a friend it was like running into the proverbial ‘WALL’. I was fatigued, full of crampy like feelings up my Achilles to my diaphragm. I suspect my body is in antibody creation over load. My mitochondria were like – Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, let’s see how Shane likes this feeling! Take that JERK! — Yes, message received. There is a lot I could say to the subject of the pandemic and to the vaccines and to peoples behaviors, but I can only control my own and I am choosing to subscribe to Maya Angelou’s wisdom.

So, there I was huffing and puffing, feeling human and just taking it a good and reasonable healthy Jeff Galloway type run. It’s ok, I was having an internal battle i often win at and had to spar to stay ahead of it. IT was a good exercise as I have a long road in front of me. Time isn’t stopping and neither are the stresses of managing an Ironman build up. So it goes, one foot in front of the other. A single drip is how waterfalls begin, yes? Yes, yes it is. I have put together a few runs, I got to take Dennis out with me on the Bonneville Shoreline Trail (BST). He was funny, b/c there was a moment I left him behind and I stopped to pee. Well, he got a bit spooked and he made up time quite easily. It was nice to get out, and he actually wanted to be there. WHAAAAAAT? Oh yeah, we carrot sticked him a bit. If he wanted video games, he had to run or at least complete the distance with dad.

The most remarkable thing about our little journey was the deer. I don’t think he fully understood that the deer we see in our yards often make their way to the BST. There were like 32 head of deer, he let me know. He counted like 4 times even. He really enjoyed it. He’s a good kid, just a teenager and thick in the skull when it comes to us trying to help him. One day, sooner than later I hope.

Anyway, this is a shorty, starting to get a few runs in and things are starting to pick up. now to get on my bike and start focusing on volume and good workouts. giddy up!

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