A lot of introspection this week – Another share

I have been reflecting quite a bit this week. Here is a thought I shared on the socials at FB: Click here for FB content

“I have often encountered I get the most agitated and interact with noise when I am most prepared for growth. I am wising up finally to acknowledge it for what it is, fasten my seat belt, hang on thru the bumps, and do the next right thing. I am grateful for resilience, but am also wise enough to try not to bring it recklessly upon myself. Ironman training and supporting a wife and a circus of vibrant kiddos is just hard. I am glad Oct 23 is not tomorrow. I think I have mostly found just how out of practice of being genuinely kind to those outside of my circle of influence i am. I find myself empathize more for their peace instead of the wrath of justice to satisfy my immediate indignation. I am most grateful that I own the agency to choose what i do in the space between stimulus and response. As the weight of my world bears deep into my shoulders, I am often amazed at what I can withstand. Some days are heavy laden while other are blissfully light. I am a faith based guy and am driven by evidence driven discovery. It’s not an easy path to reconcile, but it is mine and I am grateful for the many examples that have mentored me into a journey that is mostly worth the outcomes. I love being my wife’s partner, I love being a dad – to each dragon of our circus. I love being human, as I am able to learn so much. I am grateful to the sanctuaries I find in practicing long course endurance triathlon. I love the lessons learned and appreciate the growth.

I don’t have a lot of regrets but I do wish I had fostered this discipline and mindset earlier in life, I know it would have served my wife better thru secondary infertility and 15 years post injury and ultimately back surgery. I’m pretty strong and resilient, but soooooo far from anything near or resembling perfection. Words from Marcus Aurelius’, Epictetus, Jesus christ, Seneca often provide poignant and introspective reminders to overcome mediocrity and the natural man. Bridling some passions like anger, disappointment, pleasure is most difficult in the crucibles found between stimulus and response (you know where agency is and deity doesn’t disrupt and yet many external forces chant and sing loudly for my weakness to prevail).So somedays it is nothing more than the next right thing and others are 1 day at a time. I’ve been self reflecting on my devotions to my complex and often conflicted journey. I choose to follow the counsel in the next thought as it pertains to how I also blend my faith-based ideals, practices and the philosophies of stoicism:

Some light-hearted Passover and Easter oriented thoughts.”

This Daily Stoic podcast from Ryan Holiday – Thursday – April 14, was a real worthwhile listen that coincides with my thoughts above. Ryan Holiday takes on the Epictitus quote below and interacts with a Dr to identify her lens and interpretation – Dr. Lisa Baer author of “How emotions are Made”.

I have been witnessing more and more how folks are enamored into the idea of duality. I came across this tiktok and it just resonated with me:

I am no longer interested in knowing a lot of trivial things. I’d rather learn about the bigger picture. I’d rather absorb and develop friendships. It’s not about listening and understanding a lot of noise, but not understanding virtues, or fundamental elements of human nature. I prefer deep truths to trivia. I am not fundamentally interested in noisy nor self gratifying entertainment only. It’s about understanding myself, my emotions, and then interacting and learning about people.

Some of these notions were burned into myself through my own introspection early in life, Before I even chose to serve a faith-based two year humanitarian mission, I went on a journey of self-discovery. Along that path, I learned to think. I learned to examine. I learned what would soon become known as a ‘growth mindset’ practices and philosophies. I discovered something akin to a plat-based diet – where I learned how to use something I later learned was known as the “law of the Golden Mean” Thanks Rabbi Dr. Yosef Kalinsky from Yeshiva!

Intersection with Triathlon

One of the things I love most about the hobby of triathlon is that it is multiple disciplines combined into one to be called the sport of triathlon. Even further, I love that there are hidden disciplines as well:

• Nutrition
• Stress Management
• Mindset
• Rest ad Recovery
• practicality of equipment

I imagine others can come up with even more exotic lists but those above immediately come to my mind.

I commonly face the above reaction from David Rose (Schitt’s Creek character). More to protect others from the natural person I guess I can be when I am off my game. I’m finding when I say to people that I live through a filter that is not what I mean. I really think I mean,

Today I have not fostered enough empathy to have the correct courage of value to control my agency between stimulus and response.

Self – Shane

Anyway, I find that triathlon provides me a laboratory of sorts to take things I want to work on and work through hypothesis and try them out. I really like this thought :

I am able to bring my theories into a space of experiment and allow my self space to identify what seems to support my theory or not before I take it out in the wild world. Further, I can tweak what it really is in a way and apply it to the disciplines I mentioned prior. The fun thing is how to watch things work or fail in varying degrees. It gives me a place to see varying levels of quality too. What i find most interesting is how this carries into other vectors of life for me and also a place to identify proper application.

“To every man is given the key to the gates of heaven. The same key opens the gates of hell. And so it is with science.”

— Richard P. Feynman.

This space has been very helpful for me to avoid the natural tendencies I try to bridle and provides me opportunities to prepare better. I can anticipate opportunities to practice empathy and grow and foster it, which allows for courage to appear and be fostered. Yes I am weird like this and I self analyze persistently. This is where I learned to overcome notions like:

• I am a triathlon lover – hear my roars of douche-baggerie
• My short-sighted judgments I cast without purpose or intention (see image of “dear god, what is it like”
• identifying agency in the space between stimulus and response
• dealing with Pathological Demand Avoidance in my children
• Duality

Anyway, I just wanted to get some of this out for me so I can circle back and keep on improving and not lose sight of how my introspections intersect with triathlon, life and more.

Cheers to me