Listening to Depeche Mode today after I saw Gahan and Gore the other night live on some late night show. Dm was a big part of my formative years. From songs like people are people, to policy of truth, behind the wheel, black celebration, princess di wears a black dress, personal Jesus, going backwards, just can’t get enough… the list is sooooo long. The funny thing is dm in one ear, social distortion the other and crystal method and chemical Brothers in between. And now anything Avicii.
But with all the noise and everything seeking my attention, there is such comfort and joy for me in the song “enjoy the silence”. I know for many being alone with themselves ,like Chester from linkin park said in a interview, it is not a safe place and it finally got him.
I guess in my current state, in the disruption of injury, I am not in the persistent process and practice of acknowledging, absorbing and ultimately processing to silence training for triathlon focused endurance events.
Pause and take a look around me
So, I walked out into the snow storms the last few nights when I couldn’t sleep. On my porch, looking out at the A on Old Main hill, standing and listening to the silence, grateful and appreciative of the joys and growths I find in this life. While things have been thick and heavy of late, I can still appreciate with a smirk, a wince and a smile that it’s – alright, alright, alright!
Oh ya, and laryngitis, being voiceless when my livelihood and career depends on my spoken word, that’s been more humbling than I like to acknowledge. Speaking in hoarseness for over 4 hours today was an entertaining feat of frustration.
So enjoy this tune. BTW, it’s not silent, but it’s worth the noise, at least to me it is.
Triathlon – Swimming – Back to activity – I think
Back to the pool. Back to the pool. Where no one feels that cool. Back to the pool.
Lunch Swim – I have a lot of grace to wade through. My deep groin injury has been humbling. I can finally hold a pb without being in the work-through-the-deep-sore. My first 200 felt great. Time to patiently build fitness. Now to avoid all things see-food.
One of my favorite reminders from a wonderful lady.
Too many including me, are shackled with their camaraderie with the past. Staying tethered to a sunk cost that prevents me from being where my feet are now. In other words, to be present (consider the lilies of the field, how they toil not). By being better now I can seize opportunities and seek and shape tomorrow by improving today.
The good Ole days, rife with absolutes – in the past. Sure,history is important , but if I don’t leverage the lessons learned, they fade to memories and stories that are often seen thru a lens different than the events as they truly happened. So.. here’s to being more curious, less judgmental and more actionable in being better and less paralyzed by demanding perfection of self and others. Unrealistic expectations are just future resentments.
I and we can be kinder, more mindful, more self aware, less focused on the accumulation of things and more diligent in creating relationships and purposeful and meaningful friendships that will help us as death visits each of us in its own merciless timeline.
Saturday thoughts.
Lesson from Ted Lasso
NSFW – This clip has language that is questionable. But – this message…. Much like if an authoritarian group came searching for Jewish friends during the holocaust. Would I turn them over instead of lie? No, I would lie, protect my friends as long as I could.
Be curious not judgmental. I didn’t make the connection to stoicism until I thought about the line about questioning. One of the stoics practices is truly to question and get understanding through context. This was a method that Socrates often used. Not necessarily because he didn’t already have insight or observations, but to better understand who he was engaging with.
I need to offload this somewhere (Where this blog is form me I post it here to remind me that even though I try to be indifferent or keep my opinions to myself, sometimes, I need to at least say and offload my opinions)
And lastly, Oh, Hey fanatical faith based nuts – Jesus wears a robe, you will have to arrest him for impersonating a female – robes look like dresses – he isnt coming back in a suit with a briefcase. I mean seeing that hypocrisy and the God complex is so overbearing that you are blind to the injustices you are proliferating. Ego is the enemy. Just admit that you are narcissistic power hungry douchebags, I can stomach that, but as a faith based cis male, you are not chasing the Jesus I learned about that was crucified by his own kin. I really think he’d be crucified again, all things considered. Your group is rapidly growing as an antiChrist and an impediment. Marcus Aurelius had a few thoughts here.
I’m more and more convinced the fanatics and nut wingers blinded by some stupid political bias are too noisy, and I’d love to see more of the folks I know that exist, dig deep into their personal empathy wells and exercise courage that is needed for so many mentally ill and broken humans. We need more friends than enemies. The fact that opening up an underground railroad for any human to seek refuge and respite is needed is ludicrous. So yes, enjoy the silence.
I tend to be indifferent and hold my opinions to myself, but we are quickly weaving a path that repeats itself through history. Why oh why can’t we learn and become better. Each time I hear the phrase ‘ the good Ole days’ I cringe. The fact that we are more interested in an unchangeable past instead of being where are feet currently are so we can determine, shape, discover and create novel solutions and evolve to better is mind-boggling. That it requires the precipice of crisis and imminent failure must make evil so giddy.
The irony is deity or the lack of deity has never been my struggle, but humans, totally different story.
Franz Kafka (1883-1924)
At 40, Franz Kafka (1883-1924), who never married and had no children, walked through the park in Berlin when he met a girl who was crying because she had lost her favourite doll. She and Kafka searched for the doll unsuccessfully. Kafka told her to meet him there the next day and they would come back to look for her.
The next day, when they had not yet found the doll, Kafka gave the girl a letter “written” by the doll saying “please don’t cry. I took a trip to see the world. I will write to you about my adventures.” Thus began a story which continued until the end of Kafka’s life.
During their meetings, Kafka read the letters of the doll carefully written with adventures and conversations that the girl found adorable. Finally, Kafka brought back the doll (he bought one) that had returned to Berlin. “It doesn’t look like my doll at all,” said the girl. Kafka handed her another letter in which the doll wrote: “my travels have changed me.” the little girl hugged the new doll and brought her happy home.
A year later Kafka died. Many years later, the now-adult girl found a letter inside the doll. In the tiny letter signed by Kafka it was written:
“Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end, love will return in another way.”
Franz Kafka to ‘the little girl”
Some last and parting thoughts
“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.” ~~Sir Francis Bacon
So much noise about ABSOLUTES. I keep learning how much I don’t know each day I get older. I keep moving forward shedding my camaraderies of the past.
While I love this movie, so glad I am not stuck living today in the past. Be where your feet are. Happy Monday!
