A Journey – Managing Life Intersections
“Unrealistic expectations are just future resentments!”
— Robbie Bruce, founder at C26 Triathlon
I came across the above notion while interacting with a friend on the socials. I am going to intersect this to me and my self-improvements and introspective journeys and triathlon activities. I shared the following thoughts:
It is my observation that many struggle with this concept (see the image above). Further, I observe many are absent of these notions!
Be continually present enough to understand that agency exists between stimulus and response – we all as humans need to learn and practice with our agency in this space, and extend a lot of grace (for self and others).
“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can’t control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone.”― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations — Last of the 5 good emperors as titled by Machiavelli
From what I observe, it seems, my friend -similar to many – to be navigating the journey(s) of life. They are trying to heal and grow and process (actively). I invited my friend to lean into me as they’d like – with the following caution. I’m weird, I’m absurd, but I can try to provide a safe space. Sure, I am a faith-based guy but I also lean into scientific and evidence based concepts like :
“It doesn’t matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn’t matter how smart you are. If it doesn’t agree with experiment, it’s wrong.”
— Richard P. Feynman
“Instead of endlessly debating about which worldview reigns supreme, I choose to take elements I admire in both traditions while constructing a philosophy about how to live, and demonstrate two heads are better than one. “
-Ryan Holiday
Then I shared that I know there are plenty of folks cheering for them, their mental health, wellness and happiness for self and their family. I then also shared the following thoughts: I keep finding more fulfilment in the journey. I will let outcomes from my experiments continue to guide me and my adaptations to reality. 
Lastly – I really like the content in this podcast episode below. This specific episode speaks to how I often parse through and often seek for truths beyond the frustrating lens of duality ONLY!
Concerning DUALITY
First what is duality? In practice it is generally —
- An instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something; a dualism.
- the notion of a duality is used to capture the idea of the tension between two opposing forces which become a driving force for change and creativity
So duality is an interesting concept that it generally renders things to simple oppositions/contrasts. Common examples are insert a word, then insert its antonym (its opposite/contrast). This is often represented in moral or faith-based practices as right/wrong, yes/no, good/evil and so on and so forth. The challenge today with an every increasing access to information, and further tools of rapid and immediate communication, this concept of DUALITY is becoming more and more in conflict with the Richard P Feynman notion above – if it doesn’t agree with experiment. IN many journeys of life, this becomes a difficult notion for folks to navigate. A simple example. If I create a question with true false.
I like how this assessment source distinguishes how this absolute oriented approach is to distinguish and query and assessing surface level knowledge. I have long wondered why or how this has always been a defining approach of faith based models, but I won’t dig deep here because I will correlate this to triathlon.
In a traditional true/false question, students are asked to judge whether a factual statement is either true or false. True/false questions are best suited to assessing surface level knowledge, but can be crafted to assess higher order thinking.
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Triathlon Correlations
Imagine if it were that there was only right and wrong in triathlon. That is crazy! Because for the immortals, you know those super elite athletes like Jan Frodeno, Timothy O’Donnell, Lionel Saundars, Sam Long, Ben Kanute on the male side, and Mirinda Carfrae, Daniela Ryf, Holly Lawrence on the female side. I also use the binary driven male/female construct with purpose. Then the rest of us. The Age grouper meatheads to the just enjoy the journey age-grouper hobbyist (aka me).
I get asked from time to time, how do I start Triathlon Shane? There isn’t a magic dualistic driven formula of here is right and here is wrong. There is a big area between those two maxims. From elite pro, to meathead to all others, the spectrum is as divers as its participants. Sure, equipment may matter, but for the common participant. Where do you start? Right where you are at. To this end, the spectrum of who chooses what often doesn’t differentiate the end conclusions of right or wrong. Now, I get that TRIATHLON isn’t a direct and fully transferable example to moral based practices or faith based practices however the example hold true. You can have two triathlete participants – where all things being more or less equal to their specific biological and physical make up, their distinct approach may yield different results. What I want to illustrate is that multiple execution paths exist to land at a conclusion. The conclusions may include:
- Winner/Loser
- Finisher/Didn’t complete
- Did not start/Finisher
- Trained well or appropriately/Didn’t train well or appropriately
- completed a triathlon (all 3 disciplines)/ completed one well, struggled int he others
- I could continue but boring
If dualism was the only option then many of the oppositions and contrasts are very shallow and return me back to the concept of “assessing surface level knowledge”. I imagine if folks were to truly stop and assess the concept of dualism, how much they don’t agree with it, because many practical applications and experiments in their life experience point to their being a much more complex dynamic – but that didn’t fit the marketing efforts of one king long ago back in Nice where he was trying to universalize disparate populations and their execution practices, This was done in the name of unification and solidarity of Judeo-Christian religious practices – I cite this as an example to demonstrate how it is deeply ingrained in folks. The concept of good/evil and a 3rd party deity (Savior) required to recompense and redeem thieves of justice renders dualism and exposes its flaws, but that’s not for here.
I mean there wouldn’t even be a market or a reason for participants to join if we only concentrated on first to complete. Sure, the awards are also noble, but to what end? Some winners are humble and provide the journey and every day full of gratitude leading them to a successful expression of fitness and effort on that day. This can change due to conditions of weather, conditions on the course, how equipment choose to cooperate or not. As Seneca said:
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
— Seneca
Maybe what I am realizing more and more is what seems to be an effort of oversimplification. What I mean is if folks truly think there are two outcomes – one positive and one negative. Then its all figured out and why would one then stretch. Why would growth be needed because I whittled it down to the simplest stream. I wish that held true in triathlon. Raising a family of 4 and training for triathlon oriented events is so much different than when I had on child. Not to mention the fact we didn’t think more children were possible. How incredibly blessed Liz and I are as parents. Then there are the unspoken disciplines that are interwoven into the 3 folks see – swim. bike, run. When Rest and recovery, nutrition, mindset, stress and others sprinkle into the equations and recipes of something called a ‘training plan’ gaps are ever present.
Success is based off of your willingness to work your ass off no matter what obstacles are in your way. Obstacles are opportunities, not reasons to stop.
— David Goggins
I think it gets confusing because what I feel I do is, I have to filter the noise. In triathlon, I have to keep all the – you must have this – accurately assessed and proper values given. For example, I have a bike that works well. I would really like a Quintana Roo, but given I had to fund 50 K in surgery and medical costs out of pocket last year, and be creatively financially with little.
I want to stop and be concise and straightforward here. We received PRICELESS help from Liz’s parents and my mother, and a multitude of support directly, monetarily or in prayer or energy from countless others. We DID NOT ask – because out of principles, our own morals and more, for direct monetary help (no go fund me or the like) — only a meager t-shirt effort! What’s more, Liz designed the t-shirt and we sincerely hope those that got the t-shirt understand our deep appreciation. All that to say – THANK YOU!!!
The load and the weight of the surgery makes it so that I cannot afford nor sacrifice other things for the QR bike I would like to have. So I lean into my Kestrel. That bike with simple 105 components has carried me through multiple events, 4 70.3 Half Ironman distance events and supporting me into my IM California effort on October 23, 2022. I have torn through a multitude of Mizuno and On brand shoes. I have gone through many pairs of jammers for swimming and on my second wetsuit. It hasn’t been the most expensive or best equipment, but I select as best quality and reputable branded equipment. So, I started where I was at and have even made a few wrong turns along the way: obstacles aka opportunities for growth. What’s ironic is how equipment and gadget driven one can become in triathlon. I am sorely learning again my best return on investment is to look inward and correct my mental health, y physical health, my intake of fuel (diet) and do the work. I place faith in the process and the journey because I have seen the evidence of that model and its ROI for me.
Time decides who you meet in life, your heart decides who you want in your life, and your behavior decides who stays in your life.
― Ziad K. Abdelnour
I am grateful for the lessons learned of correcting my behaviors in life and also in triathlon. While I was beating my chest telling those in my circle of influence and those beyond that I was a triathlete, My wife patiently waited. Then in her ways, verbally and otherwise said “Are you done yet”? One day I won’t need iterations to improve, Ille make wise choices the first time. Until then, I will enjoy the journey, focus on lessons learned, and admire just how far between the supposed maxims I have gone.
