FB Memories – an unexpected prompt – Reflection
I had totally forgotten about this video. But the glimpse in the rear view here: This is still a very interesting and often overlooked thing. Too often when validation and security aka listening are sought – we move too quickly. As a parent of Pathological Demand Avoidance kiddos, I’ve painstakingly learned that listening and observing leads to opportunities to validate, then receive context. Once consent is obtained, then we can establish a path to address and solve.
Unrealistic expectations are just future resentments.
unsure – but I first heard from Robbie Bruce – C26 Founder
It is my observation that too often, folks seek to convince instead of preserving another’s autonomy by assessing or providing solutions or opinions, or insight, or advice before validation and opportunity for the expression of another’s precious autonomy. There is great perspective to be gleaned in this video – and yes, the nail was the problem, but it was the wrong primary point of focus – and that is the difficult lesson to learn – even if it is a small difference, allowing for another to preserve the integrity of their choice (free will, agency autonomy are synonyms here) – allowing for that to occur is a difficult dance and requires practice, failure and lessons learned to improve.
Looking back at this, as a rear view mirror moment, is humbling to see the distance I have come from being the ‘solver’. I am grateful to my wife, Liz, for being patient enough for me to catch up.
Mind and head space moments
Reflections from this week
“The soul becomes dyed with the colour of its thoughts.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
This thought hit hard the other night as I was riding on a virtual route through Taiwan (Rouvy using my Wahoo Kickr Core).
Today in an echo chamber in my professional interactions – “I prefer a hammer” 
. I keep reminding folks that perception is not necessarily representative of the fact or event – but that takes effort – and I keep encountering these two thoughts as I try to unpack things and find ways forward – if possible or worth the efforts.
“There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.” Ryan Holiday
“It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.”
― Epictetus
Thoughts from the windscreen . One breath, One step, on interaction, one day at a time.
“Even the largest of waterfalls begin with just one drop. And look what comes of that!” — Power of One quote – I believe this was Peekay to the professor.
A poignant reflection from HR –
“People are getting a little desperate,” he wrote as unemployment spiked and markets crashed. “People might not show their best elements to you. You must never lower yourself to being a person you don’t like. There is no better time than now to have a moral and civic backbone. To have a moral and civic true north. This is a tremendous opportunity for you, a young person, to be heroic.”
Henry Rollins
Triathlon and my journey of reasonable self scrutiny
While I tend to highlight my triathlon efforts in this blog as a journal and non pay walled to me reflection of my ebbs and flows. I also have many memories and reasons not to forget how triathlon and my overall journey and relationship through sports has rendered me in this pursuit – which is arguably and indeed is:
So this is my reminder to remember that I am part of the process and while I am often found doing this:
One last reminder to self
A quote by Ryan Holiday from his book “The Obstacle is the Way” —
“Stop looking for an epiphany, and start looking for weak points. Stop looking for angels, and start looking for angles.”
One of my fave things about stoicism is its intersections with my other affinities in life. From my journey of reasonable self scrutiny, to things I glean from my faith-based adventures/journey to evidence based interactions and lessons learned from hypotheses that often guide my execution preferences (choices) in life.
Joy, awe, wonder, happiness – often come by the mundane, through the small and often overlooked boring things. What was once a weakness, may still be one or has subsided and at times has become a strength. Mortals are the angels! We mere mortals are left to learn or not, and actions lend lessons learned or aspirations that lead to joy, awe, wonder and happiness.
I am not necessarily lost, rather I am in awe while I wander often in wonder – my kiddos have provided me the most chaotic yet fulfilling environment to fail/succeed more often interacting with joy and at times offered the succinct privilege of being reminded of what the absence of joy feels like. But I try not to stay there too long as actions tend to lead me to something much more satiable. Being cheerful is a choice, and I am understanding more and more about this quote by Wade Davis –
“Pessimism is an indulgence, despair an insult to the imagination. There are wonderfully positive things out there.”
Even in times like today where we are often inculcated with curated and altered truths, there is a lot to be grateful for.
“Not to feel exasperated, or defeated, or despondent because your days aren’t packed with wise and moral actions. But to get back up when you fail, to celebrate behaving like a human–however imperfectly–and fully embrace the pursuit that you’ve embarked on.”
— Marcus Aurelius
