PDA storytime from 20240218

Storytime

I witnessed something really heartwarming recently, and it’s worth sharing. As I was pulling into a parking spot at a local grocery store for a quick errand, I spotted what looked like a family. There seemed to be a mom, a dad, and two kids. One of the little girls instantly reminded me of Mérida from Brave—with her bright red hair and all the spunk that comes with it.

In that moment, I was reminded of what it’s like to navigate challenges similar to those faced by my eight-year-old, who has ADHD. The scene unfolded so beautifully that by the time I parked, the situation had already found its resolution. As I stepped out of my car, I couldn’t help but feel curious about what I was about to witness.

As an iterative seeking parent, I often reflect on my experiences. It’s striking to witness how some parents pull their kids along in distress, especially when I saw this family by their car, surrounded by melting snow, perhaps indicating a recent departure. While it may have seemed like a minor inconvenience to an adult, it was clearly significant for that child. I also noticed a mother and father in the store who had separated for a moment. The dad, who had a laid-back vibe reminiscent of someone I met years ago in Rennes, France, was attempting to manage his kids, likely feeling the strain of the situation. Meanwhile, the mother appeared to handle the children more calmly. It’s a common scene—parents trying their best in the midst of chaos, struggling with their own emotions while attending to their child’s needs. In moments of parenting, we often forget that our kids rely on us for safety, validation, and reassurance. It’s easy to get caught up in our own heads, thinking ahead or dwelling on the past, while our kids just need us to be fully present. It was nice to observe other parents also trying their best, each with their own personalized approach to support their children. Thankfully, they seemed to manage the situation well, despite the dad venting his stresses while navigating through the store. I’ve certainly been in his shoes too.

It made me reflect on how important it is to truly be present. Regardless of everything else happening in the world. It’s vital to focus on our children when they need us, right here, right now! In those moments, our kiddos should feel like the most important thing in the universe. Taking the time to engage with them and help them process their emotions—whatever struggles they’re facing—is essential. They’re little humans, after all, and they depend on us for support as they navigate their feelings – often new or novel and different and wow nelly – weird!!!

What stood out to me was how I found myself relating to the scene unfolding before me—yes, I might be a bit biased, but bear with me. I watched as the dad knelt down to connect with his little girl, while the mom was also trying to engage, juggling her attention with a younger brother who seemed to be even smaller than the girl having a rough moment. Later on, in the grocery store, it struck me how familiar their conversations sounded—very much like what my eight-year-old would say. The small girl looked to be around my daughter’s age, and I could see her dealing with the challenges of a physical issue, along with all the emotional ups and downs that come with it. I’m not trying to imply anything about their kids; rather, I just wanted to capture the essence of what it means to be a parent in a moment similar to this.

In another observation and moment – I bumped into a family at Papa Murphy’s, and their kids were running wild, just like mine, playing “the floor is lava” in a cramped space. The parents seemed a bit embarrassed and kept apologizing, but I reassured them, “Don’t worry; kids always win!” I added with a nod “Being a parent is one of the biggest learning experiences out there, right?” The dad nodded in agreement, saying, “Isn’t that the truth?” I responded, “For what it’s worth, my wife and I have realized that we learn a lot because we fail so often.” The mom smiled and said, “Thank you.”

It’s quite amusing to think that since the disruptions associated to the covid pandemic, many of us seem to have lost our touch with social interactions, whether with family or friends. It is refreshing to witness others navigating through their moments as well. In those situations, I prefer to offer a simple acknowledgment—a friendly wave or an encouraging, “Hey, you’re doing great.” I believe everyone is trying their best and doesn’t always need unsolicited advice, unless, of course, safety comes into play. I’ve occasionally found myself in situations where a parent is struggling and I gently check in with, “Is everything okay?” That can sometimes help them reset. It’s reassuring to observe that many parents feel isolated and overwhelmed at times, almost like being stranded on an island. The challenges they face aren’t always failures; they’re just part of the journey, especially when it comes to the physical, emotional, and developmental aspects of parenting. Those moments, while tough, are really just opportunities for growth and reflection—gems that show us how to navigate those situations differently next time.

It’s easy for us as parents to get caught up in our own heads. Sometimes our minds are racing ahead or lagging behind – perhaps overthinking a recently passed business or personal meeting or a family get-together in an hour, and we forget our kids just need us to be present Right here! Right now! They need our validations, efforts of safety, reassurance, and a sense of support, especially when they’re feeling overwhelmed and in active dysregulation.

Honestly, I sometimes need that reminder myself. Seeing others making that effort is encouraging, regardless of their style. Observing this family in their personalized in their approach, responding to their child’s needs. It looked like things settled down, with no one really in crisis aside from Dad dealing with his own stress – I mean picking vegetables at the supermarket is its own stress ball of joy!. I can relate to that feeling—we’ve all been there!