The video and why I share it
A few years back, an airline company took a chance on its customers and gave back. This example of customer appreciation took courage, coordination, was against a norm. Its initial value add proposition might have not been measurable.
I’m sitting in Germany, in Bremen more precisely. I took 3 weeks off to bring my wife for a medical procedure. The main reason I share the video, is our story was much like these passengers. Oh, you know I’d like this or that Santa, please. And, due to the nature of such a journey and story – you know. My wife fell downstairs 15 years ago, holding our then 7-month-old child, and my wife has been seeking every rabbit hole known to humankind seeking relief. But hey, because I had to fund the whole procedure and travel out of pocket – company provided insurance was unusual because the surgery would be in Germany. And get this, we had to come to Germany to use materials fabricated in the USA. But physicians in the USA aren’t allowed to use in a lumbar procedure, (L5S1) in my wife’s case. And because of an unanticipated serendipity – a colleague and friend went through the same procedure (except his insurance was able to participate) approx. a year ago, we tracked his success and well here we are. So sure, Santa, I’ll ask to play along.
The endearing part of the video is actually seeing the company, in this case WestJet, throw caution to the wind and coordinated a pre-flight event and worked while the flight was in travel so they could deliver on this adventure. Much like the travelers throwing caution tot he wind, when Liz found this option, she researched it, reviewed it. She The endearing part of the video is seeing the company, in this case WestJet, throw caution to the wind and coordinated a pre-flight event and worked while the flight was in travel so they could deliver on this adventure. Much like the travelers throwing caution to the wind, when Liz found this option, she researched it, reviewed it. She challenged and sought to identify its truths. What Liz didn’t know is she would meet her surgery roommate who shares a similar story only that she didn’t have a friend to model and provide her more assurance. The reality is here, we often do identify things that are miracles. We engage in choices without thinking them as anything more than a decision that requires interaction and consequences that will follow. Liz hunted this down question of sorts to Santa and well, she made it happen. Like the passengers above, she has been presented a very meaningful physical gift. The physician Dr. Ritter Lang quickly performed his work, without embellishment and now Liz reaps the rewards.
Please take the time to watch the video above. Here’s some virtual kleenex, you may need it.
From the Sherpa’s eyes
So, I thought I would tell this story from my point of view. I felt this may be helpful for any that are finding Liz’s story (update link here when available) for her back surgery. I thought this may prove useful to help ground folks making a difficult decision.
First, back surgery. Who would have thought my wife who is 9 years younger than me would require back surgery? Well, let’s rewind things back to when Dennis was 7 months old, and we were living in our first off campus townhouse/condo. We had become the big kids, adults ready to conquer the world. Ya, uh huh, sure. So, I don’t remember the particulars, but I do recall watching as Liz plundered down the stairs and we both quickly reacted to the chaos of the fall and assured that Dennis was alright. No blemishes, well at least physical and apparent. What we didn’t realize is the impact this fall would have for the next 15 years. Fast forward to present.
I recall Liz being about ready to have a fusion completed. We scheduled it for the second time. The first time scheduling and life problems got in the way a bit – Red Light! Then she was feeling down and in pain again, so the second attempt was scheduled. I don’t recall all the details but she cancelled it a day or so before the procedure, maybe even the night before – Red light! I think the 2nd cancellation occurred before finding out about the Curtis surgery and miracle. Green light!
Well, those that know Liz, she was intrigued. We started to flow and track Curtis progress posts and Liz began her research into Dr. Ritter Lang. I won’t steal my wife’s thunder, but the next 6-9 months involved various conversations about feasibility. Could this work? Is it just another potential failed rabbit hole. You know all the Yellow lights, reasonably educated folks would consider. Well, after a few weeks of research, Liz turned from researching to – this is it! This is what I want to do. But how? Another Red light!
A triathlon/mindfulness segue
Where this blog is about triathlon, I wanted to segue in a thought here. We often become prisoners of the moment in training cycles or in growth mindset. There often comes a flurry of proverbial ‘Red lights’ – challenges or equations that require solving. These opportunities can often become as Matthew McConaughey describes as Greenlights! The challenge in training or in mindset, is do we recognize these things as what they are worth? Challenges and opportunities to solve? Or do we become prisoners of the moment and waffle. Sometimes I find myself doing many things here. Sometimes, I confidently (sometimes stupidly) take it on as I got this. Remember that time I trained for a 50 mile bike ride, took a wrong turn and pedaled my first century in 2014 at the Cache Gran Fondo. Anyway, the opportunity and challenge paradox of identifying ‘Red lights’ shaping or prodding me (us) to find the next ‘green light’ is often painful, frustrating and requires patience. But hindsight, often provides the sweet mercy of witnessing what drove you to the opportunity and what makes the journey so meaningful. Often in ways no one else will ever understand, unless you share your story with them in the proper settings.
Put my glasses on
Well, it was about this time that Liz was relentlessly seeking how to make this work. She put me to task, after the typical Liz and Shane show antics, to see if we had options. Every option we sought and pursued often ended in another ‘red light’. Insurance – nope. Regular means, nope. So, similar to how we chased secondary infertility previously until it occurred we kind of started shutting down the hopes of can it work. We really were starting to lower expectations, began to think through more long term options. We also really began just simply accepting that back fusion and a 3rd attempt may be the only option. Well, during all of the things we did with our journey to a successful IVF and Juniper joining our family, we learned a few things about money and opportunities. So, that being said, we sought one last option. Well gratefully, a small change to our company’s benefits and 401 k things, we found a way to make it happen. Of course with Covid, there were what we perceived to be a few hurdles. But I kid you not when I say, the process was very simple and it just happened. It allowed us to fund things and deal with travel, surgery costs and more.
Reality then began. Liz got to task about coordinating timelines etc. You know, it was an absolute mess. We took our time and with all things considered, we determined the best timing was the dates we are now here. We worked things back, and set all things up. This included multiple scenarios of trying to identify travel costs, options with the children, coordinating options etc. We set forth a plan and moved ahead. Well, we had to adapt a few things along the way as a few things fell through as plans do and often change.
I guess the hardest part of it all was finding out if it could happen, monetarily and logistically. Once those realities turned to green lights, then began the other frustrations and challenges that occurred. The biggest challenge was time blindness – from its so far away to we ae leaving in 10 days. We struggled with determining only to bring Lucas. How else were we going to manage and navigate an international medical tourism trip? We were gratefully able to get some help from family and notwithstanding a few hurdles, the majority of the time was covered. A small wrinkle did occur when KLM decided to cancel its midweek 6 AM flights out of Bremen to Amsterdam. Unfortunately, Delta/KLM codeshare only has the Bremen to Amsterdam option with two flights out. The 6 Am gave us a better connection with a 4 hou layover in AMS. However, because the next flight is 11 AM we just barely miss the connection, so we figured out a local hotel. No big deal ight? Well, with an 18 month old toddler and luggage that includes a car seat and a backpack, that get fun to manage on a 7 minute walk way to the hotel. More to come on that next post I imagine.
So, after we identified what we felt was the right time to ge etc, we had to manage and adapt to things. The most difficult part was leaving and trying to prepare all the things for the grand parents in our absence. From copious notes on each child’s needs, preferences and quirks, to the pets (one with daily medications 2 times a day) and more. We did our best to prep the house and also give the kiddos each individual attention before we left. The last 10 days got here much faster than anticipated, and we lost sight of completing our exterior door entry to the house (but got he doors cut) and having enough time with each of the kiddos.
An unanticipated silver lining
In parallel, Liz was busy managing all of the contract particulars that the ENANDE group required. Finding time during my work schedule to go over and wire the monies to ENANDE. We kept watching exchange rates and tried to game the best options, which after a bit of research we saw the pattern and did decently well all things considered. I guess the biggest challenge of the various things was time management and understanding that our choices lead to this miracle actually being realized. I mean, the money and funding was available (we just had to be creative to make it all occur by ourselves). I am going to be very clear here, because we have the means to do so, doesn’t mean that we didn’t have challenges leading up to, and may have a few things to skimp through post trip. The gal that Liz be-friended as surgery buddies and post op roomies for example did it all through fund raising. The efforts were different paths, but at the end , the outcome was the ability to have the surgery completed. Yes, we are very aware that our choices do impact our outcomes and we also choose to live with those consequences. Liz and I have been doing that since the day we got married.
The unanticipated silver lining. Liz’s surgery buddy and post op roomie. I am talking in generalizations until I have her direct permission to be more concrete. Liz was out of the accepting room when “D” and her travel companion arrived. I didn’t think much of anything until this fireball started to engage with Christiane Arends (the onsite hospitality coordinator). This whirlwind was a sight to behold. Talk talk talk, didn’t slow down, rabbit holes and nimble ability to command the energy of the room. This gal was super nervous, but it was ironic because I have seen this in a similar fashion from Liz throughout our entire relationship. Was this real? Was this the longest con ever? Squid games – what is that and should I be concerned? End of the day, after we helped convince her this was real, and Squid games was not occurring here, nor was it a long con to harvest her organ or monies, she settled down. We learned about her story in parts, where she is from and work etc. Without over sharing without permission, Liz and “D” decided they were lost sisters and had many complimentary stories from age, where they are both from, their stories with growing up etc. The end result, Liz and “D” were able to bond during the post op surgery recovery. We’ve also been able to play tourists a bit together, and hopefully they can maintain a friendship into the coming future. Liz got to spend an evening with her as the realities of being pat of the miracle really hit “D”. It’s one thing to be in that moment yourself and realizing it. It’s another to watch another human go through similar. It’s like the universe knew that Liz and I needed that reassurance – we are not the only ones doing our best, trying to be decent humans, and recovering and improving through adaptation and change when mistakes or gaffes occur.
More simple correlations to triathlon
It’s posts like this that let me know that I am not a writer. I don’t write well, and that is one of the reasons why I also write this. This is similar to how I was with swimming. Sure I learned how to swim and cut a lot of time in a short amount of time. The question is what did I do to learn. Repetition, proper amount of volume and respecting the notion that I wasn’t really good at it. So I was brave enough to suck at something new. Happy to report that my swim went down from 3:45 minute per 100 meters to about 1:42 minutes per 100 minutes. That being said I was able to measure the improvement. SO, with writing – I am trying to similar for me. Most of the things I choose to write about and share here will generally be:
- triathlon and training oriented
- mindfulness
- nutrition management and discovery (successes and failures)
- life and family intersecting with topics above
The whole process above – should we do the surgery or not – is generally similar to the process of deciding about what events to participate in or goals to chase. That being said, some of those choices are easy and great. Others take a long time. For example. I like to wait to sign up for things until the last possible moment, Why, because at that point I can accurately determine if I want to participate because I know that either I am ready or tracking correctly to be ready to participate, or not. I like doing this and paying a little bit more instead of signing up right after an event where I am in the high of the finishing and adrenaline and emotion of – I just did that! Then sign up a year or more in advance. I don’t know where I will be next year. I can’t control everything in certain vectors of life in order to be ready.
The ironic thing about triathlon is that many folks will ask why 3 sports and not just one. It’s because the 3 disciplines make up one complete long sport. It’s hard. It takes time and planning. It takes not just me, but my family as well. I really do like the 70.3 distance. I can generally find up to 8 hours a week to swim, bike and run and not wreck myself o our family dynamic. Over the last 2 years with my sign up into a 140.6 distance has been interesting. Sure, my life circumstances have come forward multiple times disrupting every attempt really to get to consistency. Gratefully, a few things came forward in my favor. There were two delays and cancellations for the original race that gave me the capability to defer. Well the event I deferred to – IM California, gave me time to prep up, but the surgery needs did disrupt things, and about 2 weeks before I requested another deferral. This was further cemented by Mother Nature and the event being cancelled due to it not being safe. In between, the new version of the 140.6 St George event is now a Kona replacement race, and I really would love to have my original race option restored. Not an option – sure. So, The new event is IM California in 2022. I am ready to recalibrate and begin working toward October and being ready for the 3 sports discipline and event.
The surgery and its effort were a no-brainer in the end for me. I had a close enough to me example that I could place trust and faith in. I was able to support my wife and find an option for us to handle. It would have taken more effort should we have had to raise funds. Liz did try to create a t-shirt oriented fund raising option so that it wasn’t just asking for a simple hand out or help (click here for link). Current stats on the link show that 6 shirts were sold. We were going to have to change that dynamic drastically in order to get traction or funds or support etc.
Gratefully we were able to self-support ourselves, and as our own little nuclear family dig into our options. We did that the best we could. That is also how my training often goes. Sure, I would love to be able to have a coach. But for now, in my means and where this is a hobby only, I self support, I research, I watch, i observer, I test things on my attempts and I just keep trying. It took me awhile to realize that while yes i want to complete these vents as fast as I am able. Yes it is nice to be able to podium or receive an award for being fast. I was blinded in the notion that fast was why I was doing this thing of triathlon. More of what was important was the process. The process of refining my self. The idea and notion of coming to understand that the body cannot compartmentalize stress, and that stress is stress is stress and there is only so much energy that the human body has a day. So, I had to reframe things and then in 2017 i took on the notion that I don’t need to be fast but strong. It took so much pressure off things with Juniper and Astrid joining our family. During the event I lost sight of that as the wind was out of control, I forgot to fuel and I bonked super hard during the run. The sad thing, is I only lost 15 minutes on my overall time. In 2019, I did similar although I was pushing to go faster, I then refocused. I was able to also run into a friend of mine and start and finish with him. Then when my wife said – “you don’t look wrecked” that was exactly what I was trying to accomplish. I was just strong. My hope is I don’t lose sight of that. I don’t over burden myself with unrealistic expectations, rather I will check in during the next 6-7 months and then I can determine can strong also handle fast. If not I can do what is needed to make sure that I am ready for October.
Anyway, I’m sorry that this is a little frenetic and all over. However, I wanted to get a post out about supporting my wife through her surgery process. It is indeed, the most correct thing that needed to occur and we were privileged enough and also provided the capability to self fund this. The end result is – as a sherpa – I would recommend this process to anyone that needs this without reserve. Here is a link to where the information lives a little better until Liz gets her information and story out.
