A memory that bares reworking
See the pic above? I remember this moment! I am exiting T2 (Transition 2 – bike to run) and starting to groove here. I couldn’t feel my feet after a 1.2 mile swim and almost 57 miles on bike in grueling rain and wind. Despite the off weather conditions, I managed to cut over 2 hours off my previous year’s time in this madness. I post this memory hoping amid the turmoil of today, hearts and minds can come together! Not just imagine something greater, but take action and become better!
A journey commenced, starting cheerfully under a clear sky, and a tranquil sea.
In the moment above, my father captured a bit of my discouragement and facing discomfort in the photo. That’s right a moment of not being positive. This negative and difficult moment allowed me to think about how I could have just stayed in the porta potty because I couldn’t figure out my zipper. I forgot about the simplicity of how to pee. I feel that negativity is often overlooked as a great tool – when used as a proper measure. I had just completed something many pro triathletes and others couldn’t complete on this day. I was en route to completing the last 13.1 miles that destroyed me the previous year.
I remember telling myself, look strong for the camera and my family. Internally I was fighting back — “this freaking sucks!!! “
But, I have to be ready for more suck and pain for the next 7 miles! Well, it turned out being 8 miles due to the course change. An already grueling run course was shifted to include what I refer to as ‘Satan’s pitchfork’. My point is, without knowing the opposite of the reward, I wouldn’t appreciate the reward. I’m fatigued with pro-positivity ONLY! The if your are negative I am cutting you loose stuff. True, I may not listen to your message but I still value you as a human and appreciate your friendship – even if you are engaging negatively. One of the coolest things I observe on Facebook, the ability to reconnect and observe old friends acquaintances. Some I ignored during that period of life (high school and adolescence). But thanks to social media tools like FB – I witness/observe beautiful triumphs thru nasty trials and even failures that often lead to lessons learned.
There is an integrity in those observations that gives me hope. Not a naive hope, rather a hope that this current nightmare we are witnessing will pass, That this current night terror will be but a moment. The problem with disruptors and wreckers is it takes a long time and effort to rebuild. One thing is clear about the human spirit, its ability to adapt, persevere and overcome. If that makes me believe in unicorns that fart rainbows. So be it.
I am ever grateful to my life-partner spouse and wife – Liz, for allowing me to rekindle my fire inside. I hope that it never goes out. I am a rebel, always have been. I have tried to conform but I always Rise Above (Black Flag).
And now I continue to Reach for the Sky (SxDx). Yup, I originally shared this glimpse in Jan of 2017 gearing up for a 70.3.
The above memory was before its time
The above was penned in approx 2017. The experience happened in 2016. Sometimes in my triathlon experience I look in the rear-view and review poignant feelings that occured in events. This event was my best showing by time, but in 2019 I had my ‘best’ feeling race/event. Truth is, 3 sports or disciplines called triathlon is hard. It also taps into nutrition and mindset (and more) – 2 difficult disciplines that go along with each sport individually already. In triathlon I try to navigate each in all 3 sports continually, and then life intersects almost daily too. The biggest truth I wish I understood better when I began this hobby is: “Stress is stress, is stress”. I heard this over an over from the gentlemen at Crushing Iron. I still listen in to them and really find their perspective and approach align with my efforts and approaches. My problem, I’m not in a position to afford their coaching – time, family, and monetary. It’s a current opportunity cost I can’t afford.
This was 2 years before the COVID pandemic (disruption) hit. What I understand in hindsight, as I look back, is I was already internalizing changes and moving toward accepting a more present version of a growth-mindset. I learned this through many other experiences but lost sight of it, and during my mid-life crisis, it resurfaced. My hope is that my efforts are visible to those whom I most care about – my nuclear family. Yes, I have created people, and me and my wife are their leader.
Training ride
I just got off my bike and re-rode a course in Rouvy I use to get my legs back. Overall this felt pretty good as I had my fan running from the get go.
| Elapsed Time | Moving Time | Distance | Average Speed | Max Speed | Elevation Gain | Calories Burned |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
00:50:07
hours
|
00:50:07
hours
|
28.28
km
|
33.86
km/h
|
62.48
km/h
|
81.00
meters
|
491
kcal
|
Wandering thoughts and podcast I listened to
This is my first real ride on my new flooring. I was listening to a podcast I stumbled across Sue Larkey Podcast (SLP Episode 132). In the podcast she mentioned a book titled: Can I tell you about Pathological Demand Avoidance syndrome? Well, I suspect I have some new reading and she suggested this is a good book to share with family and friends. I had a few takeaways. The difficult thing is framing myself to be better with this in our family. The intersection of life is about being a better parent. A phrase this gal used was without a diagnosis the child is identified and judged – often as a problem. With a diagnosis, they can be supported. Well we have 2 of our children on the ASD spectrum and one for sure is PDA (with or without diagnosis) and the second appears to be there too. The most difficult part is celebrating the differences so that I can make a difference. Yup being a parent is HARD. IT stretches me more than I can lead on. Further, without the things and challenges I have faced in long course triathlon, I’d be in a much more vulnerable position. Trying to identify when strategies are tired and need to change and the speed at which they must adapt is the PDA challenge. It’s just completely different from everything I or most Neurotypicals have ever been taught.
