Original Post title: Check-in – August 25 – Juggling the 5 blls of life
Checkin IN!
I am refreshing this post that I originally posted on August 25, 2017. This refreshed post better reflects my observations and thoughts. I feel it provides current context around my thoughts, reflections and lessons learned. Not just a copy and paste from an interesting article I came across, and then didn’t really take stock of the lessons learned at the time. So, to that end, here we go!
In September 1996, Brian J. Dyson delivered the Georgia Tech 172nd Commencement Address. Brian J. Dyson was President and CEO of Coca-Cola Enterprises at the time of the commencement address. A portion of that address has become legendary for the succinct and powerful advice condensed into the story and thoughts he shared. I find that his counsel provides a great foundational context for personal reflection and ultimately action:
I would caution you that as intelligent and active participants in a dynamic society like America, you must bring balance into your lives. Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them — work, family, health, friends and spirit — and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls ~ family, health, friends and spirit — are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.
Brian J. Dyson
You live in a world of growing opportunity at one of the most exciting times in history, and you have been prepared with an exceptionally fine education. Because you are all so well educated, let me pose this final question to you. What is education for? Is it for the pursuit of knowledge or for the pursuit of significance? How you answer makes a difference.
Knowledge is merely a tool. There is someone in Argentina or Singapore who has the same degree as you. The difference lies in how you use it. Will you use your education for life or just as a living? It‘s up to you now.
commencement address at Georgia Tech (1996)
The commencement address can be found in full or part – here at this link (Bryan J. Dyson at Georgia Tech – 1996) – commencement remarks. I have looked and cannot find a youtube video or other source sound byte or other of this just yet. I wanted to make sure proper attribution was available –
Lessons learned – some context
I tend to align things to my internal core values I have derived from what I term as “my journey of reasonable self scrutiny”. This includes incorporating the 4 cardinal virtues found in stoicism!
4 Cardinal Virtues of Stoicism or 4 balls that aren’t work
- Wisdom
- Temperance
- Justice
- Courage
Wisdom
- Be willing to admit that you are less than perfect. It is a fragile thread that binds us to each together.
- Be willing to learn from the balls that don’t bounce back. Each lesson learned is an opportunity to grow, recalibrate, adapt.
- Be willing to look around – Like Ferris Bueller said – you will miss what it’s trying to teach you otherwise.
- Knowledge is without weight, therefore it is most often easily carried.
Temperance
- Pursue physical and mental fitness adhering to the law of the golden mean
- Learn and acknowledge a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.
- Remember things are things and emotions, especially of others have value
- Seek context allowing another to preserve their autonomy. By not trying to convince, opinions and emotions are less likely to explode.
- Live life on day at a time, don’t imprison yourself in the 2 fairytales of the past or the future.
- Not all emotions are good/evil, it’s the perception and story we tell ourselves, learn this precious concept regardless of worldview.
Justice
- Practice empathy in daily interactions – consider with tolerance all worldviews making the best available decisions
- Be fair in dealings – let honesty, integrity and equity be your guides.
- Identify ways to actively contribute for the common good of humans and support social causes.
- Actively pursue a journey of reasonable self scrutiny – growth is an absolute worth pursuing.
Courage
- Lean into your empathy wells, this is where most courage of value is birthed
- Face challenges head on, acknowledge them, determine if you will engage or discard – if that is an option
- Live ethically, develop a worldview that allows you to live the other 3 virtues without fear
- Courage is not the absence of fear, often it is an acknowledgment of it, being fearless often reduces the value of courage.
The story of 5 balls really struck me at the time in 2017. As I was reviewing content found on my blog, I happened across the 5 ball story. Now, I recommend doing an exercise like this with caution. The exercise of my journaling, using a blog, started as a mere triathlon log. I have decided to open this upto also include my journey of reasonable self-scrutiny. The glimpse in ‘the rear view mirror’ can be difficult. Sometimes if one is not ready or the timing is off, it can lend itself to getting stuck in the fairytales of the past. It can also produce anxiety or false expectations looking too far forward into the fairytale of the future. This exercise has an objective and that pillar needs to be a main focus much like looking forward and being present, much like while driving a car.
“If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
– Lao Tzu
I like Eddie Pinero framed the thought above more recently – he used a quote I cannot find it to attribute – “the present lives between two fairy tales – the past and the future”. When I posted the original post around the 5 balls story, I was going through what I hadn’t understood, yet. Since then, I have come to terms with my journey of reasonable self scrutiny. I had various labels cast at me, but much like these balls that Bryan J Dyson was sharing about, I was juggling labels/balls! Perhaps too many! They had different labels, contours, weights, value and many more characteristics that were all seeking something from me – ultimately a label. What I came to the realization was this is what I needed – I needed a term or a label for my worldview and strategy for things beyond the rubber ball that kept bouncing back – Work! An injury in the beginning of 2023 really set me back. But it wasn’t a setback per se – because since a point of realization in 2013 – I had been focused on my physical worldview and my interplays within. I had ignored the 3/4 remaining balls at the time, but my worldviews of the following:
- My authentic core values
- worldview of faith oriented approaches and philosophies
- worldview of stoicism and its actionable trajectories for me and my intimate circles of influence
- worldview of my growing nuclear family
- My physical/mental values and personal time management
- I was travelling too much (damn bouncy work ball)
- I was swimming, biking and running almost at will with too much freedom
- Was I ever present enough for me and my life partner
In light of the thoughts above, I also like the concepts of the Four agreements – illustration of summary below
So, revisiting a personal story for context:
I recall when a car theft disrupted my activities while working with a customer in San Francisco. I had just returned from a run. It took me a few minutes to realize my backpack with work assets was gone. I'm glad I followed basic protocols of lock and cover, but that wasn't enough on that day. While I wrapped my head around things, I mostly focused and concentrated that I was safe. I made sure my wife knew this and certain key friends too. I began following work protocols but as that process began to conclude, each empty moment(absent of movement) I became distracted from my health, safety and well being. Shortly after the incident, I got a call that my backpack was found. Although I was curious if this was a ploy or a genuine kind citizen, I just took it at face value and retrieved my backpack. A few of my colleagues wanted to investigate more, but even at that time, I had shared info with local authorities, filed a police report, and recovered my backpack. Gratefully, everything worked out in the end. I try to follow work protocols and guidelines and in the end, I was protected and my job was in tact. In the initial moments of waning movement, I thought my job security was highly at risk.
The pivot and focus on a more healthy/fit me sometimes seems selfish. There is a quote that I came across that helps here —
This has empowered me to become more aware, available, and present to and with/for family, health, friends, and spirit. Far more so than at the time this bash and dash occurred. It grabbed me by the shoulders, and stabbed my heart strings. The universe yelled at me, “Work will always bounce back like rubber, but the others are at high risk of fracture, or maybe worse”. So, I changed from a hyper-focus to a more balanced focus until the lowe hip adductor injury. And now I find myself in the same paradigm but working with a different set of balls I am juggling. It isn’t important what those balls really are, just that I need to get them back in balance. Especially before the universe turns up the volume from the noise to shrill screams, if I continue not to listen.
Sometimes it just ‘clicks’, just like swimming. I have so many more examples of work just persistently bouncing back – all the way back to my first employed efforts at Carl’s Jr. While I was trying to be risk averse though in life balance, I was missing it – because a few things were close to fracturing and shattering. Important intimate to me things even. Had I not remained true to my wife about my current, state and alerting her to my status – health, and work were quite volatile and fragile. I was was slipping and lacking discipline. Things external to me that I couldn’t control were aggravating me and disrupting my demeanor. I returned to doubting my typical nature (driving excepted) that most humans are typically doing things that are good. I was glad to not go over the ledge and remain rooted in strong moral standards for me.
The memory above, taking in the sand, and the beach, and the water, removing my shoes and running barefoot among the other strangers, and seagulls and other birds. Grounding. Self-care. Reasonable self-care. Being selfish where I could so that I could become more selfless. I recall the waning moments of sunset and re-aligned myself with important things – the balls I was letting drop. I think this exact picture (capture) was the early evening. I had stopped and took some photos for a family that wasn’t from the San Francisco area. They looked to be from the Middle East. I offered to take some photos so the Dad was also in the photo. I was in a great place, and the disruption almost went unnoticed as I discovered the shattered glass, the displaced stuff and then the realization snapped me into focus, my computer stuff is gone! Work could have shattered it all, but I didn’t let it. Nope. I stayed in front of it and in fact the following day went out with another vehicle and ran again. Yup, true story. And looking back, I was in the process of acknowledging what I could and couldn’t control. I was parsing that information reasonably and while in discomfort was able to navigate the high level of stress. Ultimately, like Elsa and Anna sing from Disney – “Let it go!” and that’s just what I did.
Relevant Pics from the original post
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