Introspective reflections of mine

Noise between my own ears

Primary, secondary, tertiary, quaternary. My dyslexic burden is living in all these impact zones at once. Navigating them gets a little spicy and chaotic at times. And I sure make plenty of mistakes! One of the most brutal elements in a journey of reasonable self-scrutiny is navigating the feedback my actions illicit.

Firstly – I’m keenly aware of my mistakes!  I am my biggest critic, and I definitely struggle to allow myself enough grace to also be my biggest fan! When I remain without action and solely intellectually driven, I don’t receive feedback that can encourage or persuade me on. I can’t receive often critical feedback reminding me that recalibration and retooling is required.

I actively choose a path driven by kindness and few absolutes. This allows me to freely encounter many worldviews – selecting the best from all sources engendering enrichment and enlightenment. I am intimately aware of who I am, who I am no longer , and I am persistently seeking who I may become! While I do believe in a deity that may prefer a path different than my choosing, I also believe that a human’s understanding of that path is fueled merely by faith and perception and often little by fact or truth.

I will say this.  I want to believe there is deity and perhaps more than One!  *gasp*  I even believe that there may be a form of preference from deity(s) – or maybe it should be framed as a preferred pathway back – universal law and wisdom demonstrates this example similar to us as parents providing models to our kiddos but – this drive or preference – is selfishly driven from their experiential wisdom and lessons learned.  I can choose to be informed from their experience or by my own hard knocks against the pathway to experiential wisdom.

This is a pattern we offer to my kiddos, and I get glimpses of chagrin when I see them going though what I perceive as backwards!  It is my observation, that we are individually and collectively faced with too much intellectualism and analysis paralysis – you know the indecisive squirrels.   The trouble is though – my Modus Operandi is taking action – feedback then comes as encouragement, or perhaps a need to recalibrate, and/or a need to refine or even sometimes critical correction.  The pervasive positivity only model with no attention to negativity has slowly disrupted accountability of any actor.

It is my hope that we can individually and collectively lean into kindness and validation first, letting and allowing for cruelty to be delivered thru natural and not human driven consequence or preference (aka ego)!