2019 – November 22 – Check in – Pensive

Checkin’ IN!!!

As a paid opinion – I’m a consultant after all, I spend a majority of my time influencing and persuading customers and colleagues to identify solutions that are the most correct for now and into the near and long-term futures. Like a fly on the windscreen, I’m am often called to observe and make a snap recommendation without complete information, often riddled with emotion and little evidence. However, I am grateful to the trust afforded me as a stranger, and a trusted opinion. I’m not always right but I do strive to identify what’s right for my customer. I am grateful to the diverse interactions and many instant friendships afforded me. Looking back, not because epic change is imminent, rather I have found great confidence, comfort, security in the boring and consistentcy of honesty, integrity, hard work, being present in the moment and available. I’m not a ‘disruptor’ rather I look to identify healthy patterns that allow for adaptability and change to be trustable and desired, iterative improvements if you will.

Anyway, I no longer believe in work-life balance, rather I believe in life, family, self-care, then work. The taskmaster is relentlessly unyielding and as we evolve further into the chaotic and mismanaged Era of information, I find that burn out is imminent, too many are fatigued. Leaders pretend to care, but outside influencers tend to get more attention than the people they rely on.  Too often those they rely on become expendable, or quiet and subservient.  They lose motivation and get lost.  Out of random serendipity Patrick Lange dropped a gram post about this:

View this post on Instagram

There are more parallels between sports and business than people might think, one of them being able to develop the ability to cope with setbacks. It’s been an honor to share my experience with the @audi_de team. Taking a couple of insights and motivation (I think every man’s heart will beat faster when driving an R8 on a race track) with me that I will be able to use next season. ?credits @stefanboesl

A post shared by Patrick Lange (@patricklange1) on Nov 22, 2019 at 12:28am PST

I, myself, got very lost and was rutting out after persistent experiences.  This past week while consulting in a high-level meeting, a specific customer was unengaged, but the moment I dropped some of my background the story changed.  If only, these folks would take the time to do the same with their own employees, then they wouldn’t need me.  I know, I know.  Another person this week asked because they are retiring, when should they expect to see a publication or book of my interactions.  This person has been so belabored and unable to perform in a way that they know how to, but are too stuck in the weeds, not because of talent or ability, rather because of misappropriated resources and egos of the institution.  This person stayed with me until 7 pm after hours, while all others that will remain after their retirement will still be there, this seemed off to me.  — Because it is!

So, the last few travel days have allowed me space to be reflective after workdays – long long workdays chasing rabbit holes that shouldn’t be.  To sit and think while in a chair in the air.  It’s just me and my thoughts.  I am able to pause.  To stop!  To be still.  To unplug and be alone with me.  A lot of discussions with my customers this week bled over into my personal space.  When I am engaged in work situations I often find that I am a level headed outside observer that brings multiple points of view and experiences.  I find people trust me quickly and easily because of the perceived value and what they are paying for services.  It’s a strange thing to be in that position.  Looking back, in work, along the way I got lost, and I am grateful I was woken up.

As I have mentioned several times, my journey is similar to many others.  Unique to me, is how I cam to become self-aware.  I am grateful to a patience wife and life-partner that allowed me space, with gentle (sometimes not-so-much) prodding to wake up.  As I mention in (transformation tuesday – CLICK HERE!!!) it wasn’t really until I was about to need a belt extender on a plane did I realize how ‘numb’ I was.  I am not at that point again, but I am on that slippery slope and I do not like it right now and that is why I guess I keep circling back to that recently.  It is top of mind.  But it is only the tip of the spear in a major way —see I can use jargon to my advantage too.

One of the things I didn’t expect in my relationship with endurance sports and my hobby of triathlon (Swim, bike, run) was personal relationships.  Often triathletes are accused of being alone on an island.  While often I do like to isolate myself as it allows me to have self-care for me.  I have recognized the critical value in the human interactions I have.  Examples:

1. Rekindled relationships from the past.  
2. Whether these were intentional or otherwise – I have been privileged to re-connect with many friends and acquaintances because of triathlon or fitness-related journeys. How grateful I am to have been involved with many critical acquaintances and friends along the way. To have the chance to re-connect with them through events, social media or other means. To identify where we didn’t know we had common interests before, or share in revamping those desires from a new older and mature point of view
3. Creating new friendships
4. My wife has been a big part of this in our immediate social circles. Without her influence and local running and other fitness-minded connections, I would not have current local friends. This has such critical value it is often overlooked and ignored. One of the things I love the most about my work is that I am always meeting new people. Some criticize me saying I don’t meet new people, I laugh b/c in my 8 years of work, I have met thousands of folks, to whom I have a connection – meaning I have directly interacted with them in more than just a simple transactional type meeting. I get to meet them and spend more than 5 minutes with them
5. New friendships from past connections
6. There are many old High school and post-mission folks I have run into. We either weren’t friends then or couldn’t be friends due to being human and young and all those fun dynamics. Now later in life through a hobby and love of adventure and movement, we have been able to connect more and build a relationship we may have missed or disallowed previously

I’m astonished and grateful to be accepted into a community of peers that sojourn towards various goals and outcomes, but mostly it is profound to participate and celebrate the journey, the moments and the connections, and finding our greater selves. I recently heard ‘sometimes we have to surrender what’s perceivably good for what is vitally essential’.  I think I am starting to get that message.  This aligns with me in life, family, self-care, triathlon and other dynamics of life. I’d have to tag many in my gram feed, but know your influence is appreciated by me. Thank you! Now I need to get back to things, I feel ‘fluffy’.   Honestly, I am around 215-220 lbs. I do not like it. I am fluffy. I am healthy and I am fit, but I am not sharp and lean like I was at 190-ish. I feel that 190-ish is achievable and realistic. I also think it is very sustainable for me. I need to focus on the essential here. 

There is a lot of self-realization here. This for me greatly relates to what is on my mind lately that I have been missing. Sure, I have had a few wonderful life experiences and family blessings that have caused some of this. But in the end, I jumped into the lifestyle of endurance sports and triathlon. I loved the outcomes. I love the journey. I love the ‘meh’ and boredom of tedious consistent activity. I have to re-create the time and be able to achieve that.

For example, A few weeks back, Liz pushed me out of the house to go swim. It’s true, that activity to has allowed me space for not only endurance sports readiness but for self-care. It is in the water as I swim, where I have the most catharsis. Yes, I have my swim purpose, but the true outcome is the shedding of needless stress. I can literally just ‘let it go’ and leave it in the water, or I can acknowledge it and determine with a purpose if I can discard or address it and the timeframe required to do so. I think Liz wants Shane (me) back and present, the conundrum is how to make that happen. Late nights and early mornings don’t always align with family and work responsibilities. There is the biggest challenge and I was the one who selected to do a full ironman, I got caught up in the excitement and now having signed up, created this issue.

So, I have the rest of this calendar year to get my bearings back.  I am starting at a similar point as I did in 2016 going into 2017.  I can’t control my work schedule.  In fact, it looks like I will be commuting through Syracuse or buffalo New York in the near future.  Maybe I am scoping out Lake Placid?  Didn’teven think about that until right now.  I remember visiting Lake Placid and the Saranac Lakes and White Face years back while on an interview at Paul Smith’s College.  Grateful that didn’t work out, but it was such an amazing place in the Adirondack National Forest and where I stayed was fairytale-like.

Anyway, so, I have new shoes, a bike that can go on a fluid trainer and a pool to swim in.  It’s time to sink into discipline.  Provide the support that Liz needs.  Find a way to help Dennis and Juniper and Astrid be ready and excited for holidays, an incoming sibling and change.  I’m sensing later nights and early mornings and will have to find ways to build in proper rest and recovery.  It’s going to be a lot, but — Liz and I don’t often get to tread in shallow waters, we’re often tripped into the deep-end of things.  I am grateful for her, I think we are often quite compatible and complementary with plenty of overlaps in all the right places — often we don’t even know it until its needed or we look back — seeing how far we come and it’s very in our face.  about 5 years ago, we faced a single child only, and who would have thunk, that we’d have 3 more join us?  We have been blessed and we are indebted.

Hope all have a great upcoming holiday and those that care and read this and are training or thinking about it, be kind, allow yourself some grace.  Be realistic and let go of the internal resentments.  REcalibrate as needed.  As one who has been through the process, I don’t know why I waited so long, it’s like LASIK for me, on the other side things are that much more clear, doesn’t make it easier, it’s all TOUGH/HARD/DIFFICULT work!  Don’t lose sight that the efforts will reward you exponentially if you are willing to go through the process.  YES!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Activities – 

I use the following trackers:

1. Garmin Connect (which pushes the files to the following services):
2. Training Peaks
3. Strava
4. and the ones I don’t remember (Map my stuff via Under Armour and things like the Great Bicycle ride initiative stuff)

Honestly, I mainly use Training Peaks as I pay for an annual subscription on it now, and it is the most detailed in data and other helpful information to keep me where I want to go. Use the ‘Links’, then ‘Track me’ section to find and stalk me if that’s your thing.

Relevant Pics

think we are excited for Frozen II?  Yes, yes we ARE!!!!!

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#photo #Checkin #2019 #Reflections #mv