Catharsis – In my way
Shane Livingston – Logan, Utah. You are an Ironman.
When the Noise Gets Loud, I Go Back to the Basics
Most people won’t care about what I’m about to say—and that’s perfectly okay. This isn’t for them. It’s for me.
Lately, work has felt like a grind. Too much noise. Too many shifting priorities. Not enough clarity. I find myself constantly decoding signals, silences, and subtext. It’s mentally draining. I share when asked, but I try to stick to what’s known—not the maybes or probablys—even when Occam’s Razor is leading to quite obvious conclusions and answers.
When I hit that wall—mentally, emotionally—I come back to this space. To movement. To mindset. To triathlon. It’s where I reset. Where the noise fades and the signal gets strong again.
Seeing the Whole Staircase
That version hits me hard—because most of the time, I do see the staircase. I see the step I’m on, the ones ahead, and even the destination. And that’s where things get complicated.
My mind doesn’t just process the obvious. It starts connecting dots across layers of context—signals, silences, patterns most people don’t even notice. It’s a kind of dyslexic-driven overdrive, where letters, symbols, and meanings blur and blend into something bigger. It’s not chaos—it’s just a different kind of clarity. But it can be overwhelming.
(See the video below for more context.)
Slow Down to Move Well
So I pause. I slow my thinking—deliberately. Because only then can I move with purpose. One step. Then another. Just like running:
- Left foot.
- Right foot.
- Repeat.
- A lot.
When the volume at work cranks up, I tend to go quiet. I begin to turn inward. Sometimes I go deep and others its surface level or shallow! I turn to what grounds me—my family, the swim, the bike, the run. Triathlon isn’t just a sport for me. It’s a playground. A proving ground. A classroom. A sanctuary.
It’s where I reconnect with my body, recalibrate my mind, and remember who I am beneath the noise.
I’ve had hours alone—on the road, in the water, in my own head. And in that silence, I’ve had to face it all: the doubts, the dreams, the demons, the hope.
- I finished a full Ironman.
- 1.2-mile swim. 112-mile bike. 26.2-mile run.
And yeah, I had a mechanical issue for 65+ miles on the bike. Most people would’ve quit. I didn’t. I’m still not sure why. Well, I don’t find that to be authentically true. Maybe it’s the internal motivators. Maybe it’s the external motivators
- my wife’s sacrifices,
- my kids’ dreams,
- the quiet observers rooting for or against me.
All of it matters. All of it burns. But mostly, I had wisdom baked in from the many lessons learned in the steps I’d already taken and completed. Since 2013, I’ve been doing the work—mental, physical, emotional. I’ve passed on career moves. Watched others climb. But I stayed focused on what mattered: becoming the human, the Husband, the Dad, colleague and friend – I needed to become and be!
In 2015 – IVF gave us our second miracle baby. That door, assisted fertility supports, is closing for others now – except for the deemed privileged few. That’s a story for another day. While I was concentrating on me internally and my. roles as a husband, and father – I didn’t let my career skills fade. I just stopped chasing titles and started chasing meaning. It often stings when I see ideas I birthed—shared in good faith—get used without context or credit by others. But I’m learning to let go. If I’m not asked, I’m not offering. That’s not bitterness. That’s boundaries. Let it go!
(Thanks, Anna and Elsa.)
So here’s where I’ve landed:
- Observe.
- Inform.
- Instruct. (with consent or contract.)
And this:
