Don’t Drag me Down – Mother Father!
Stop Treating Adults Like Children
It’s fascinating to observe how these dynamics unfold. On one hand, we’re encouraged to examine the inputs of the life cycle with mindfulness toward the outcomes. Yet, what I’m observing in real time with my neurodivergent 5-year-old—diagnosed with ASD and born during the COVID disruptions—is a poignant contradiction.
His earliest experiences were shaped by masks, distancing, and rigid protocols. Now, as he tries to integrate into systems built on assembly-line paradigms, he’s met with the directive to “treat him more like an adult.” The irony is stark: these two maxims—early infantilization through systemic rigidity, followed by premature adultification—are fundamentally at odds. The result is a flawed lifecycle experience, one that will continue to manifest in various ways unless meaningful recalibrations and interventions are made to improve the journey.
We’re seeing a resurgence of authoritarian and draconian models in response to uncontrollable disruptions like COVID and other systemic shocks. These events forced a pivot toward flexibility, autonomy, and agency—through social distancing, loss of contributors, and the normalization of previously optional tools and systems. Despite these adaptations, both successful and failed, we still cling to the “camaraderies of our past,” treating them as comforting carousels. Meanwhile, we falsely profess and proclaim innovation, agility, and human-centered design—outsourcing our value systems and allowing them to be hijacked by legacy thinking.
Those navigating the neurodiverse wilderness recognize this pattern. These systems mirror the lived experiences of individuals: masking, seeking support, and striving to manage autonomy. But this isn’t about trusting the models that shaped them. It’s a paradox—children are told to be treated like adults, yet emerging adults are often treated like children. The disconnect between input and output reveals a systemic misalignment that demands deeper reflection and intentional redesign.
